In related news, Joan Rivers cancels big Democratic fund raiser.  

A family in York, England, has spent $1500 on four operations and brain surgery to save the life of their pet rabbit. ***MARLAR: How lucky can a rabbit’s foot be if you have FOUR of them and still need brain surgery?

Chaz Bono has successfully completed "gender reassignment" surgery and has lost her vaginaty. 

I just saw an ad for a Senior Health Care Plan that claims:

It's works out perfect that it is for only 65 and older also because with all the Pharmacies and Fast Food places on every US street corner you will never make it to 65 anyhow!!!

It's a win, win.  For HMOs and their CEOs.

There's a new twist on the beauty pageant in Hungary. They call it "The Miss Plastic" pageant and it's only open to women who have had breast implants, tummy tucks, facelifts and other cosmetic plastic surgeries. But the prizes won't be awarded to the contestants, rather the plastic surgeons who did the work. Judges will not only have to study the contestants' vital statistics but their medical records too. And like all beauty contests, the backstage drama has already begun. Contestant Alexandra Horvath said, "I'm suing my hair supplier because what they supplied caught fire while it was being dyed-- luckily before it had been fitted to my head!" Organizers claim the event allows the contestants, aged from 19 to 38, to celebrate the beautiful bodies they helped to create.  ***MARLAR: Shouldn't they be holding this contest in Silicon Valley? 

However, just before surgery she requested that the surgeon be replaced by her favorite diamond cutter from Beverly Hills.

I've decided to have the controversial Lap-Dance surgery.The only catch is that my surgeon is demanding 50,000 dollar bills. 

Doctors writing in the Archives of Surgery say their research suggests that people who have been drinking have less brain damage and are less likely to die than those who are sober when they are injured in an accident.

Apparently, getting retarded keeps you from becoming retarded. Now that’s advice from a doctor I’ll actually listen to. “Why yes, officer, I have been drinking... Doctor’s orders!”

And Dallas Mavericks forward Tim Thomas could miss up to six months after undergoing knee surgery. So he'll be nice and rested for the playoff losses.

Actor Burt Reynolds looks frail after checking into – and then out of – a Florida rehab facility with a painkiller addiction. The screen legend, 73, blames his addiction on the effects of back surgery.

Coincidentally, my own addiction to pain pills was the direct effect of watching Burt Reynolds in Cop and a Half.