Allen Iverson has placed phone calls with the Knicks and the Bobcats. Up next, the Suicide Hotline.

 A diet heavy in processed and fatty foods increases the risk of depression.  This may explain why Kirstie Alley has the suicide hotline on speed dial.

   What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a suicide bomber?

   An off-er you can't defuse. 

Authorities said the man preyed on the sick, the elderly, and Timberwolves fans.

I saw an ad that said Walk To Prevent Suicide. I should try that because I've been told I'm going to kill myself if I don't lose some weight.

An Al Qaeda suicide bomber made an attempt on a Saudi Prince this week by smuggling a one pound bomb and detonator inside his rectum, although the attempt did fail, it has been reported that Richard Gere has joined Al Qaeda.

Said the Chicago Police, "We was interviewing this guy, one Christopher Kelly. He suddenly spits out some chewed up five spots, but we was too late. Suicide by Lincoln ain't pretty!"

                                                            The Lincoln gag got him!

I once tried to commit suicide as a kid. The pressures of being a 9-year-old were getting to me. Ultimately I decided not to because back then I didn't own any decent records. Honestly, I didn't want my dead body being found with a Kajagoogoo LP! 

Sarah Palin has been quiet for over three weeks. No comedy writer suicides have yet been reported. Then again, most of them live alone.

I used to wear a suicide watch in my younger days.I killed entirely too much time.