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SillyWilly
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Osama Bin Laden Is Dead Damn It

By: SillyWilly  (M)
Submitted: Feb 3, 2010
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Osama Bin Laden

172 Jokes  7 Videos

Osama Bin Laden Is Dead Damn It

Everybody has to stop all this foolishness that Osama Bin Laden is alive, living in a cave and send audio tapes to the world. Is this just another of Cheney's stupid ideas to keep the war on terrorists alive?

If he is alive what the hell is doing living in a cave?  And why is sending stupid audio tapes?  Who the hell makes audio tapes? If he's got electricity in that cave, why doesn't he make a video flipping everyone off?

And the news media goes crazy everytime a tape is let loose. "Osama Bin Laden Is Alive, Osama Bin Laden Is Alive, Osama Bin Laden Is Alive."  Shut up!  He's not alive.  If he is alive he would look like Jeff Dunham's puppet Achmed the Dead.

Hey. Maybe he is Achmed, "Silence, I keel you."


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Alex Schubert
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How stupid was George Bush?

By: Alex Schubert (C)
Submitted: Feb 2, 2010
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

George Bush

699 Jokes  17 Videos

The only thing he has ever spelled correctly is OBGYN.


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rico suave
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Run Tiger Run

By: rico suave (C)
Submitted: Jan 29, 2010
Category: Sports  
From Hot Topic

Tiger Woods

874 Jokes  9 Videos

 After all those women that are coming out Tiger is going to need those free nikes he's been getting to run away. Hopefully he's not stupid enough to run to his ex wife.


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Alex Schubert
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President Bush doesn't miss the spotlight

By: Alex Schubert (C)
Submitted: Jan 18, 2010
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

George Bush

699 Jokes  17 Videos

In a recent interview, former President George W. Bush said that "he doesn't miss the spotlight".  He then added, "That's because the spotlight maked me look stupid".


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Neil Berliner
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NB's "Stupid Things that Stupid People Say" #2

By: Neil Berliner (C)
Submitted: Jan 15, 2010
Category: Weird  Staff Pick!

NB's

"Give me the big half!"


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Neil Berliner
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NB's "Stupid Things that Stupid People Say" #1

By: Neil Berliner (C)
Submitted: Jan 15, 2010
Category: Weird  

NB's

"So I was thinking to myself..."

As if there were some other option.



 


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Chris Martin
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I want my soul back

By: Chris Martin (C)
Submitted: Jan 14, 2010
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Pat Robertson

22 Jokes

I want my soul back

Years ago, I made a deal with the Devil to get Pat Robertson to stop making stupid comments. And now this: "Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it," he said on Christian Broadcasting Network's "The 700 Club." "They were under the heel of the French. You know, Napoleon III, or whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, we will serve you if you'll get us free from the French. True story. And so, the devil said, okay it's a deal."


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Neil Berliner
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"Smells Like "Terrorist" in Here"

By: Neil Berliner (C)
Submitted: Jan 14, 2010
Category: Weird  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Airport

543 Jokes  17 Videos

An 8 year old Cub Scout was hassled by airport security because he happens to have the same name as a known terrorist. The tot told the press, “Yeah, and I think my stupid sister told them that I make underwear bombs too, like after we eat at Grandma’s.”


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DARREN MARLAR
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Grilled Cheese Discount

By: DARREN MARLAR (C)
Submitted: Dec 19, 2009
Category: Weird  
From Hot Topic

Pope

127 Jokes  1 Videos

Folks in the Lakewood, Ohio area just love the locally famous grilled cheese sandwiches served up at the Melt Bar & Grilled Restaurant. The question is how much? The restaurant has teamed up with Voodoo Monkey Tattoo and are offering any patron with a tattoo of their classic sandwich a 25% discount. John Forgus of Voodoo Monkey says he's been getting creative like giving one person a tattoo of Popeye holding a grilled cheese sandwich instead of a spinach can. ***MARLAR: For a grilled cheese sandwich?  Really? I mean, I would understand if you were getting 25% off your Starbucks... but a stupid grilled cheese?


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Golf Brooks
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Tiger Wood Song

By: Golf Brooks (C)
Submitted: Dec 16, 2009
Category: Entertainment  
From Hot Topic

Tiger Woods

874 Jokes  9 Videos

 To the tune of "Take This Job & Shove It" by Johnny Paycheck

Take This Game & Shove It - 12/15/09
 
Take this game & shove it,
I ain’t playin’ golf for a while,
I’m gonna take a break for my family’s sake,
I’ll be keeping a low profile:
I’m gonna sail my yacht to a secluded spot,
Without the media cramping my style,
So, take this game & shove it,
I ain’t playin’ golf for a while.
 
I’ve been playing some stupid games,
And I’ll admit it, it’s gotten out of hand,
So it’s time to take on a little different course,
And start working on a whole new plan:
My wife and my kids are more important now,
Than a whole bunch of trophies on the wall,
I hope you’ll understand, I’ll be a better man,
So, please, won’t you heed my call.
 
There’s no excuse, for my recent abuse,
I sincerely want another chance,
I’ll be working hard, in my own back yard,
To improve on every circumstance:
One of these days I’m gonna come back stronger,
And be the winner I used to be,
I’ll make you proud, so you can shout it loud,
But right now, hey won’t you hear my plea?
 


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