When I was in college, I was once thrown out of a strip club for tossing quarters at the strippers. I hit a girl square in the face with a coin and the bouncer hit me square in the face with his fist.

I impart this pathetic tale because I am honestly curious what customers do at strip clubs in Europe. How do you “make it rain” with a pocket full of coins? Wouldn’t that be hail?

Capricorn-You are a controlling materialistic jackass who thinks they are constantly in charge. Your hair is never out of place, you always have that money for that nose job or that new car. You also like military service. How scary are you. But when you are around the ship doesnt sink, so rest assured you are a necessary evil.

Aquarius-There are not enough drugs or parties in the world for you. You are insane and love strippers and hookers. At the same time you are an outraegous drip that thinks you know everything. Yet when it comes to new and fresh ideas you have more than anyone. Its just that you have to get off your ass to put them into action. You never love but when you do you dont let go. They invented the restraining order for you.

Pisces-At your best you are a good objective friend but at your worst you are a self destructive jack ass. You are also somewhat smarter than the rest of the signs because you need to retreat. But then again the world sucks so I can't blame you. The men in this sign have a problem with honesty that that is men in every sign.....oops.

Aries-You are an impulsive nut who has no forethought to any of your actions. You huff, puff, and are a big cry baby. But you are also smart, funny, and good in bed. But most nutty drug addicts are. You do as you do and no one can control you, but on your best day you are still smarter than George W. Bush

Taurus-Man you are stubborn and you are always putting your foot in your mouth. While more flexible than any yoga instructor you are also a loyal friend. But despite your loyalty you also let your friends know when they are being jackasses. You are so loyal your significant other has to pay you to cheat. All and all you aint that bad.

Gemini-I can trust your two faced ass as far as I can throw you. When you are good you are a good storyteller. But at your worst you are an evil backstabber. They invented excorcisms for you. Stay away.

Cancer-To you everything is a personal affront and you take things too seriously. In addition you are the big brother or big sister out of your group of friends and find yourself taking care of a lot of screwed up people. All and all you are alright. Just dont let your friends move in rent free, and when you get hearbroken dont go OJ.

Leo-You are the life of the party because you are throwing it. You are honest, a ray of sunshine, and everyone likes you. You are also brutally honest and love drama which is why people can only stand so much of you. And then you give orders which is why people leave the party early. But you are charming so thats why they come back. Hell I know I do.

Virgo-The most annoying sign in all of astrology. You are manipulative and have OCD to the point where your fingers bleed and everyone elses do just watching you. While you have a sense of humor, your selectiveness and bluntness get on everyone's nerves. Yet when you are around things get done and everything is in ship shape and nothing is left unturned. So you have some sort of value in this world.

Libra-You are the most beautiful sign in all of astrology partially because you cant get away from that mirror. Not to mention you get along with everyone because you are a pushover sometimes. But at the same time you can put your foot down and you are the life of the party, that is why everyone is secretly jealous of you. Just have a lot of social nights and dont let anyone pressure you to make important decisions because you are a flake. All and all though, the universe doesnt spin without your charm.

Scorpio-You are a jealous, possessive, revenge seeking nut. You will follow your enemies till the ends of the earth. Your dont forgive or forget and you have a lot of intestional trouble from being such a pain in everyone's ass. But you are good to have in my corner so I can sick you on people I dont like. So you are like a pitbull, no one likes you but you do have a purpose.

Saggatarius-You are the coolest sign in the zodiac. Wherever you go you accept a dare and ride with the wind. Taking chances is the name of your game. You dont hold grudges because you have ADHD and you arent about being mean. However you dont let people push you too far which is great. But while you love sex dont let that bedroom door hit you in the ass.