I first saw "The Empire Strikes Back" as a child and thought, "Yoda is eight hundred years old...what a Jedi!"  Now that I am an adult, I can't help thinking, "Eight hundred years...his 401K must be incredible."

The methane found on Mars is not brought to the planet by meteor strikes, scientists say, but from the fact that it is one of the last places left in the universe where you can legally smoke.

Tiger Woods told gossip reporters today,  " White People make me sick !   I know all you White folk would love to see me broke, driving a Pinto, and living in the Projects with a Colored Gal . "

Pitcher Tim Lincecum of the San Francisco Giants,has won the Cy Young Award for the second straight year.He led the National League in strikeouts and marijuana possession.

Philadelphia's transit union has managed to avoid a strike during the middle of the World Series. Cole Hamels also had trouble throwing strikes.

The military has announced they've dropped a series of 1,000-pound bombs from planes on mounds of poppy seeds in an Afghan field, and then followed that with strikes from helicopters.

After seeing how quickly and effectively the seeds were spread across such a large area, the Taliban has begun recruiting an army of suicide farmers.

Manny Ramirez, who recently returned to the LA Dodgers lineup after serving a 50-game suspension for using a woman's fertility drug, was ejected during Tuesday's night's game.  Ramirez threw his helmet and elbow pad in disgust after the home plate umpire called him out on strikes.   Ramirze blamed his outburst on it being "that time of the month."  

Biden Reveals Location of Secret VP Bunker

The vice president, well-known for his verbal gaffes, confirms at a dinner the existence and location of a secret hidden bunker that Cheney is believed to have used after the 9/11 attacks..., divulging potentially classified information meant to save the life of a sitting vice president.

Well, now is as good a time as any!

Wildlife strikes involve creatures -- including birds, foxes and lizards -- hitting windshields, wings and stabilizers.  Only US Airways, however, has reported strikes involving fish, sharks, and whales. 

In related news, a recent survey shows that each year 1 in 4 Americans eats at Taco Bell.