NEW MOON? Vampires? Werewolves? lol! Give me a break! I saw the first Twilight movie and it was one of the gayest, most stupid movies I've ever seen. What ever happened to the old vampires... Big, Mean, Scary? The ones now look like anorexic Backstreet Boys! The Count from Sesame Street would have been scarier!..lol "One, one sissy little werewolf...Two, two sissy little werewolves...THREE, THREE SISSY LITTLE WEREWOLVES! AH! AH! AH! AH! AHhhh!"

Bernie Madoff’s stuff is being auctioned off, including his Mets jacket which says “Madoff” on the back.  May not be safe to walk the streets of New York in that thing; after all, it does say Mets on it!

...here's my top 11 jokes:

The Ravens Defense is So Bad... 

• ...Sesame Street is using game film to teach kids to count by 7's.
• ...even my 401-k is out performing them.
• ...it's been selected for this years Presidential Turkey Pardon.
• ...Sarah Palin can see open receivers from her house.
• see the rest on my baltimore blog : SportsCrab and please give it a dig!

Sadly, some of the show's characters are getting a little long in the tooth.  For example, Big Bird is now wearing feather plugs.  

In related news, Barack Obama announced he will increase funding for PBS and will appoint Elmo as his new media czar.

The New York Mets will be participating in the Yankees Word Series parade.They will be removing trash from the streets,for their only sweep of the season. 

An Ohio man dressed as a Breathalyzer test for Halloween found himself blowing into one after police stopped him for allegedly driving the wrong way without headlights on a one-way street. A similar incident happened to a man who was dressed up as a penis.

No one was seriously injured after a plane hit an SUV and made a crash landing in the street during rush hour traffic in North Las Vegas. A pilot and passenger in a home-built Dragonfly aircraft had just taken off from North Las Vegas Airport when it grazed overhead lines and flew over six lanes of traffic before hitting Candace Porter's SUV. Then the plane crashed landed in the street. The pilot was taken to the hospital with minor injuries, while the roof of Porter's SUV was damaged.  ***MARLAR: Sounds like the driver should’ve been in a Dodge.

Hundreds of senior citizens outside Chicago got an unexpected Halloween treat Saturday -- a free party sponsored by a jilted bride. Six days before Teanne Harris was to walk down the aisle, her fiancé called off the wedding. And when Harris and her mother went to the catering hall to cancel the reception, they were told their deposit was nonrefundable. That's when Harris noticed the Asbury Court Retirement Community across the street. So instead of letting a Halloween-themed wedding reception go to waste, Harris, 34, decided to move the party to the retirement home. It was a great time for all involved.  ***MARLAR: Plus she found a lot of eligible bachelors.

Stereotypes can put you in some awkward situations.  Like the other week I was out of town and getting hungry.  I didn't really know where any restaurants were, but I saw this black guy walking down the street and pulled over.  I said, "Excuse me sir, but could you tell me where the KFC is at?"  And he responded, "TYPICAL WHITE AMERICA, askin' the Black Man where the Chicken be at....  So you ASSUME because I'm a brother, that I know where the KFC's at?"  And I said, "NO Sir, you've got this ALL wrong.  I ASSUMED, since you were wearing the uniform that you could tell me how to get there!"