Patrick Albanese, a hand model, magician and actor, blames a Martha Stewart-branded lounge chair for snipping off a bit of his livelihood. In a lawsuit filed Monday, Albanaese said he was moving the Martha Stewart Everyday lounge chair in June when the front tubular legs collapsed, crushing his right index finger between one of the chair legs and tubular bar on the base of the chair. In a related story, John Tucker of California has filed a lawsuit against Martha Stewart as well. He claims that when he purchased a similar chair the sales person assured him that a coded message came with the assembly instructions, which outline a step-by-step plan on how to profit from insider trading.

 Steven Spielberg has confirmed that his next film as a director will be a remak of "Harvey", the classic 1950 movie starring James Stewart about a man who befriends a giant invisible rabbit.  The Jimmy Stewart character will be played by Joe Biden.

Today, Stewart Cink beat Tom Watson in the British Open. 

Real nice Stew.  Afterwards he was seeing tripping an old lady with a walker, knocking ice cream out of a childs hand and stealing food from the homeless.

Next week he's entered himself into a horseshoe tournament against disabled players with no arms.   

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Billy Mays here for the greatest invention since the Smokeless Ashtray and the Flowbee . It's the " Healthy Head Helmet ."   So light and portable, take it anywhere ... A must for frequent flyers on U.S. Airways ..... Like to bicycle, play sports , antagonize the police ? You need the Healthy Head Helmet  !... Or maybe you're a golfer ?  Did you know  hundreds of people die from golf ball head injuries every year ?  That's why you need the Healthy Head Helmet ! ..... You enjoy skiing as did Sonny Bono and Michael Kennedy , or maybe you're just a beginner like Natasha Richardson ? The Healthy Head Helmet is just for you ! ...  Or maybe you're an activist visiting Iran and want to participate in the recent street demonstrations going on . The Healthy Head Helmet can save your life ! .... In your car you know how important it is to chatter needlessly on your iPhone, you know you can't resist the urge to text message on your BlackBerry while in the passing lane, you gotta get the Healthy Head Helmet , it can save your life ..... Only $19.95 plus $6.95 shipping and handling . And if you call within the next 30 minutes I'll throw in the famous best seller ... " Do It Yourself Brain Surgery & Other Home Skills " by world famous author Stewart Cowley , in paperback , a $54.00  value.... yours free ..... Call now before they put me in my wooden suit ...... Farewell from Billy Mays ....... offer void where prohibited by law ....................................................................................(kascha & whitney)

I heard Martha Stewart was a special guest on Rachel Ray's Food Network show. They became instant friends while cooking over the stove. It's rumored they were getting along so well that the two of them were caught making out on the set during commercial breaks. Now that's what I call some hot "Grill on Grill" action! I guess Martha got a taste of Rachel's "30 Minute Meal"...

Political pundit Tucker Carlson recently went on CNN to comment on comedian Jon Stewart's blasting of CNBC, calling him a "partisan hack" and predicting that Stewart would become "so self-serious and sanctimonious that it's just a matter of time before he becomes unfunny."  

Tucker Carlson is of course the former co-host of the CNN program "Crossfire," which had Stewart as a guest back in 2004. During his segment, Stewart had chastised Tucker for his own contribution to political discourse in this country, and also called him, to paraphrase: "a dick in a bowtie."

And the award for Swiftest Comeback goes to...