Sammy Sosa claims his new lighter complexion is the result of a rejuvenation process for his skin. Making it the second time since steroids that Sosa has used science to enhance his image.  

www.jerrywolski.com

I never played sports as a kid. My parents couldn't afford the steroids. I also had a deep fear of becoming popular with girls.

David Ortiz said he wound up on the list of drug users as a result of over-the-counter vitamins. And because of Dunkin Donuts' new HGH crullers.

Jim Leyland is "sick and tired" of the steroid saga. Odd, since when most players get sick or tired, they take steroids.
 

A congressional committee will look into Sammy Sosa's denial that he used steroids. Because the economy is doing great.

A report surfaced that Sammy Sosa tested positive for steroids in 2003. Not only that, but it turns out the tooth fairy isn't real. 
 

Danica Patrick recently told reporters that she would take steroids if she thought she wouldn't be caught. And that she's actually Manny Ramirez.
 

Florida State beat Ohio State in their baseball regional 37-6.  The good news for the Buckeyes is they're clearly not taking steroids.

Iran said it tested a missile that can travel 1,200 miles.  U.S. officials are concerned, because it's so much like an American "rocket", it even lied to Congress about using steroids.

The Los Angeles Dodgers received an in-person, heartfelt apology from Manny Ramirez. In his apology to teammates, Ramirez said, “If I had known I would have been suspended 50 games for steroids, I would have switched to Human Growth Hormone a long time ago.”