Michael Jackson's sister La Toya has created a milkshake in honor of her late brother for a local shop in L.A. The shake starts out chocolate, gets nutty then turns vanilla. 

www.jerrywolski.com

A news article revealed today that there's a staggering shortage of Eggo Waffles. Kellogg will start rationing supplies, while Aunt Jemima Syrup will be brought in via The Underground RailRoad.

The doctor slapped the baby and then he slapped Cheney to restart his heart.

Don't stare at the chimps! That's the new rule posted at the zoo in Antwerp, Belgium. Of course, you can't feed them, either. Zoo officials are particularly concerned about a male chimp named Cheetah. They worry that people staring at Cheetah will prevent him from bonding with the other apes at the park. He was raised by humans, but the zoo keepers say Cheetah is now making contact with others of his kind. ***MARLAR: So, in other words, go ahead and pay the big bucks to get into the zoo – but whatever you do, DON’T LOOK AT THE ANIMALS!

A Japanese jetliner is asking passengers to go to the bathroom before takeoff to help increase efficiency and cut down on pollution. All Nippon Airways has also started using recycled paper cups and switched from glass to paper bottles in an attempt to make every flight just a little bit lighter. They estimate that if 50% of passengers relieve themselves before boarding, the airline will produce 4.2 fewer tons of CO2 per month.  ***MARLAR: It’s bad enough that your dad tells you to go to the bathroom before going on a trip, now you’re going to hear it from your pilot.

Putting a good spin on bad news : April 15, 1912 , White Star Liner officials announce, : Titanic sinks, but the good news is 705 people were rescued . Unfortunately 1517 died but they were mostly lower class steerage passengers  .  ****** Election Day November 7, 1972 : President Nixon beats George McGovern in a lopsided landslide victory. The McGovern campaign manager declared, " We may have lost 49 out of 50 states including George's home state of South Dakota, but we won Massachusetts ! "  ********  November 16, 2009  General Motors announces a loss of Only $1.2 Billion Dollars for the third quarter. President Obama was so pleased with the good news G.M. didn't lose another $6 billion of taxpayer money as had been expected.  He said on Chinese National TV, " I think it's time we pop open the champaigne bottles and celebrate ! "   .

   Early in Bill Clinton's career--at a well-attended political rally--this young, attractive pregnant woman was brandishing a large sign, which read:  "CLINTON IS THE ONE!"

   When candidate Clinton spotted her, he quickly left Hillary's side and made his way through the crowd to ask the swollen, slightly startled supporter, "Madam, would you mind exchanging signs with someone?" 

I really believe in global warming.I stared at the sun recently,and I'm much blinder than the last time I stared at the sun.

Lamar Odom says he wants to start having children with Khloe Kardashian right away. That way, their six-month marriage will still encompass most of the pregnancy.

Andy Warhol’s “200 One Dollar Bills” just sold at auction for $43.7 million. Look for my new work, entitled “43.7 Million Dollars”, on eBay, with a starting bid of 200 bucks or "best offer".