A western Pennsylvania Amish farmer was sentenced Tuesday to 90 days in jail after refusing to bring a pair of outhouses into compliance with state sewage laws. Andy Swartzentruber cited his conservative religious beliefs in refusing to abide by a court order to make the privies used by schoolchildren compliant and pay a $500 fine. In addition to the health issue, some teachers complained the Mr. Swartzentruber did not properly stock the outhouses. In fact, some of the students were using their assignments in the outhouse. A few of the younger students proceeded to turn in the soiled home work.

NEW YORK (AP) — Swimmers are being kept out of the water at Coney Island out of concerns about a sewage overflow from a nearby treatment plant.

22 other beaches nearby were left open because apparently they face a different ocean.

Navy Captain Scott Gureck of the Pacific Fleet said he would have informed the public of the USS Port Royal discharging 5,000 gallons of raw sewage off the coast of Hawaii, but that he didn’t know about it.  Making the scrambled eggs on his hat appear more like egg on his face.  The Navy divers who were inspecting the ship’s hull when the discharge took place, could only WISH they had egg on their faces.

The USS Port Royal discharged about 5,000 gallons of raw sewage when the warship was grounded a half mile off Oahu.  The Captain admitted that the Ship's sudden grounding, “Scared the shit out of us!”

A sewage treatment facility in Japan has recorded a higher gold yield from sewer sludge than can be found at some of the world's best mines.  All over Japan, people are now paying more attention when someone says, "I just shit a brick!"

A "premium mountain bottler of fine, pure water," which is really a side-outfit of a corrupt city's wastewater treatment officials, actually takes several steps out of the filtering of sewage water to save a few dimes. So if you see little brown and black specks in the buck and a half bottle of water you're buying now, just blame the shitty economy.