What's 6 foot long and smells like urine? 

Line Dancing at the Senior Center

Barack and Michele Obama with smiling faces, served up food at a homeless shelter on Martin Luther King Day . He announced to his hungry homeless guests , .... " I have a dream, too ! " ........ " I have a dream after the 2012 elections are over with, I will open my own Boston Market Family Restaurant ." .....  " I have a dream of offering affordable dinners to working class people who are too lazy to cook for themselves ." ....... " I have a dream of selling healthy kids meals for as little as $2.99 . "...... " I have a dream of offering senior citizens a discount of up to 10% with proof of age . " ........ " I have a dream of watching my wife Michele working the cash register and trying to give correct change to impatient White people . " ................ " I HAD a dream last night Hillary Clinton won the 2008 Democratic Primary and I wouldn't be here dreaming now ! "   

Congratulations to Gloria "Bunny" Mendenschein, age 85, of Ft. Lauderdale, Florida...she was just selected as "Miss Golden Age of Broward County".

Her winning attributes? A bust that is a 38-long and the ability to wear a thong in either direction...and have it fit the same. 

Like so many seniors, Old Man Winter apparently bought a beachfront condo.

CBS's senior complainer Andy Rooney shared his views on 60 Minutes last night . " I'm so glad the Holidays are over now. I enjoy Christmas more than New Years although I dread the thought of spending all that money every year  . I hate New Year's Eve because I like to go to bed early . By 10:30 p.m. I put my false teeth in a glass of water and drink a glass of Milk of Magnesia .  No one knows what to do for New Year's Eve except stay up late and have lots of fun .  New Year's Day is too close to Christmas for me . Chinese New Year's is celebrated during the month of February .  I like that better because they use lots of fireworks . My favorite holiday is the 4th of July .  When I was a boy, ( before they invented the horseless carriage and the steam engine ) my father would give me $2 to buy fireworks with on every 4th of July .  He told me not to shoot any off around our house or I would catch hell  .  So I would go over to my friend Alfie Gordon's place at about 7 a.m.   Alfie's mother would not allow him to play with fireworks because she said they were dangerous . I think she was just a cheap-skate and a kill-joy .  I shared my fireworks with my friend . For a little extra fun I would cut off half the fuse of the cherry bombs and pass them over to Alfie . I spent many happy July Fourth's in the hospital emergency room watching the doctors and nurses patch my pal Alfie back together again . "  ........................................................................................ disclaimer,  only part of this story is an actual interpretation of Andy Rooney's latest installment on 60 Minutes .......... 

·        Despite a record senior season Brett Favre’s nephew is being passed over by major colleges for being too short.  Ironic considering his uncle comes up short every December too.

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 Fart-Faced old-timer Andy Rooney did a bit about Christmas Shopping on 60 Minutes tonight . Andy is way too old to understand the concept of shopping on-line so he just wanders around the streets of  Manhattan in his baggy pants and old tan trenchcoat looking for nothing to buy  . He is annoyed when approached by a salesperson who asks him " May I help you ? "  Andy knows by heart the next few lines to come out of that employee's mouth are " Sorry the restroom is out of order, " ...  " Today is not Senior Citizens Discount Day,  " .. " We just gave away our last free sample five minutes ago, "  and   " Mr. Rooney, the  99 Cents Store is across the street ! "

According to the latest test results compiled by the Education Department, more than half of America's high school seniors do not have even the most basic grasp of U.S. history. ***MARLAR: There is no excuse for this - none whatsoever.  During the War of 1812, President Jimmy Carter said, "I Have a Dream".  And I'm sure his dream didn't include students failing history.

...there is a new social website for senior citizens.  www.seniorpeoplemeet.com , where you can join today, meet tomorrow, and forget who they are the next day.   

An upstate New York high school senior suspended for 20 days because of a two-inch knife is fighting back. Matthew Whalen's family has retained a lawyer to appeal the suspension and clear his record. Lansingburgh Central School District Superintendent George Goodwin punished Whalen for having the small utility knife in a tool kit that was locked in the teen's car. Goodwin ruled it was a weapon that is forbidden on school property under Lansingburgh's "zero-tolerance" policy on weapons. Whalen -- an honor student, Eagle Scout and National Guardsman -- is scheduled to return to school Wednesday. He wants the suspension expunged because he's worried it might hurt his chances of gaining admission to the U.S. Military Academy.  ***MARLAR: These zero-intelligence policies leave no room for logic.  Why would you have to go out to your car to go get your knife when you could just as easily use a sharpened pencil to get the job done?  And pencils aren’t banned!  And if you really want to inflict pain on someone in the classroom, go for a paper cut with lemon juice – those aren’t banned yet either.