Secretary of State Hillary Clinton pledged support for Georgia, telling its citizens that they will receive financial aid, increased security, and be on her mind.   

Singer Jason Mraz spent five days in Ghana, traveling throughout the country with Free the Slaves, a nonprofit organization whose mission is to “end slavery worldwide.”  And what was also strange, Mraz had a secretary named Lincoln, and was shot by the paparazzi on a Friday. 

In a new PEW report mixed race heritage is rising rapidly so much so that in a precautionary move Indy 500 and NASCAR will be added by the Secretary of Interior to the federal park system with designation of National Caucasian Trails

To ease tensions Secretary of State Hillary Clinton released a statement to inform Arizona that those tainted Shrek glasses crossing their borders were made in New Jersey not Mexico

At this same time enraged Arizona Senator John McCain was speaking to the press to announce his declaration of War in a speech called La Guerra however aides upon hearing the Clinton news went to the teleprompter cut and pasted every word with Guerra and replaced it with Guido and McCain went on with his speech without a hitch

President Obama has turned down Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer's request to meet while she's in Washington next week as tensions mount between his administration and Arizona over the state's new law cracking down on illegal immigrants.  Brewer will be in Washington to meet with other governors. She said Friday that she had asked to meet with Obama and Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano to discuss border security and immigration but Obama's schedule "doesn't allow for a meeting" with her.  ***MARLAR: Of course, he DOES have time to host a concert at the White House to honor Paul McCartney on Wednesday.  I mean c’mon, a man has to have priorities.

The music booster club at Central Community Unit School District 301 in St. Charles isn't bothering with bake sales and car washes this year. Instead, it's selling bags of something promoters call "paca poo." Minus the cute name, the product is alpaca manure.  Booster club secretary Gudrun Dorgan said it is a great garden fertilizer, and it comes in little pellets that are easy to work into the ground.  Parents, students and teachers will be scooping and selling droppings on Saturday at Inspiration Farm Alpacas. A 30-pound bag will cost $10.  ***MARLAR: That’s strange.  Typically when you buy something this disgusting from a school it comes from the cafeteria. 

The top 4 most common female professions today are secretary, nurse, teacher, and cashier. Of course they are, it's because they get to wear the hottest outfits.

The Secretary finally assigns "Mr.Phelps" a possible mission.