Swedish scientists announced that men married to smart women live longer, so I updated my eHarmony profile to read, "Marry me - or die!"

I am glad to see Newsweek using sex to promote the magazine(Sarah Palin cover).  The awful covers of the past were the most unattractive containing the ugliest people.  Now, I hope your highly trained publishing staff takes it to a new level.  Let’s have fold outs of Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Molly Ivin ( oops sorry, past away),  and of course Michelle!.  These could be done tastefully…like that Burt Reynolds fold out years ago.  In order to be politically correct, how about Senators Bird, Reed, and maybe even commentators such as Keith Olbermann.  He is always looking for ways to promote himself-look at Sunday Night Football (talk about odd ball-it's like having Bozo in a discussion with scientists on Global Warming). I would add Limbaugh and some others, but they are not good looking enough for your high quality publication.  I suggest sticking to Liberals, The Beautiful People! Why, maybe your editors could win the Nobel Peace prize for Literature using sex.  After all, sex is true peace!   Gene Stray

Rodell Vereen was sentenced on Wednesday, November 4, to three years in prison after being caught, on video, having sex with a horse.  He admitted to buggery and pleaded guilty, for the second time in two years, to abusing the animal.

In a related story, on Tuesday, November 10, British scientists announced the beginning of a new study on using human DNA in animals!

Do you think the timing of these two news events is just a coincedence?

Two out of three people on antidepressants still aren't happy.Scientists are feverishly trying to figure out a way to blow direct sunshine up their asses. 

Vets and scientists have been left baffled as three bespectacled bears that live at a zoo in Leipzig, Germany have suddenly and inexplicably gone bald.

Upon hearing the troubling news, Andre Agassi immediately donated all his wigs to the chrome-domed creatures. 

According to a study on monkeys at the Oregon National Primate Research Center, staying active may be more of a factor in fending off weight gain for adults than cutting calories.  ***MARLAR: For dramatic weight loss, scientists are now suggesting we jump up and down frantically and play on tire swings.

Scientists investigating a large crater in Latvia  initially believed to have been caused by a meteorite said a closer analysis revealed it was a hoax.  The father of "balloon-boy" denied any responsibility.

Scientists are discussing the idea of creating a "space elevator". It would be a huge cable -- one end attached to the earth, and the other end attached to a satellite. Cargo and astronauts would ride up the cable into space, and unbelievably it would be cheaper and safer than rockets.  ***MARLAR: The downside to this plan is that you’re stuck in a tiny box for hours listening to instrumental Led Zeplin tunes.

An MIT scientist is videotaping 400,000 hours of footage of his son from birth to age 3, to document language development in babies.  ***MARLAR: You gotta feel sorry for this guy’s family, don’t ya?  You just KNOW he’s going to pull out the home movies when this kid has a birthday.

It sounds like a Halloween story, and we’re skeptical, but they say this one is true.  A University of Florida scientist has grown a living "brain" - a group of 25,000 rat brain neurons - in a glass dish, and they are interacting via computer with an F-22 fighter jet flight simulator. It's already "learned" how to control the pitch and roll of the jet in conditions ranging from blue skies to hurricane force winds.  ***MARLAR: Be looking for “FrankenRat” to be piloting your flight on Southwest Airlines soon.