Chicago Bears linebacker Hunter Hillenmeyer has pledged to donate his brain to science. They can pick it up anytime they want.

President Obama announced a $250 million initiative to train Math and Science teachers in an effort to raise student scores in those subjects. Or, as math and science teachers are calling it, “Almost a trillion dollars”.

In recent news, nine distinguished Long Island teenagers have been accepted as finalists in the national Siemens Competition in Math, Science, and Technology.  The group of teens conducted an extensive research project for an ideal biological scaffold on which to grow skin tissue for burn victims at Stony Brook University.  Next, they plan to research how to get laid before the age of forty.

Science fiction nerds now have another species they're never going to have sex with.

So ladies, how do you make him fall in love? Take him on a rollercoaster ride. Or bungee-jumping. Or whitewater rafting. Literally. It turns out that stomach flips, adrenaline and screams associated with any white-knuckle event create a rush of the hormone that makes us fall in love, according to research from Richard Robinson, author of "Why the One You Fancy Never Fancies You." That hormone is called phenylethylamine. An important component in the science of attraction, it is secreted when you see someone you really like.  ***MARLAR: I fell in love with my wife Robin from the adrenaline rush of being in the passenger seat when she was driving.  My heart is still racing.

The U.S. National Science Foundation has just released a report at the Copenhagen meeting indicating that the major increase in global warming since 2004 has been because of Tiger Woods' screwing.  In fact, the study emphasized that most of the heat generated happened when the horny Tiger was fanatic about getting that hole in one!

Reported by "Golfer Sex," December, 2009

 Why do the authorities have a problem with Universities that mail you a diploma once you’ve sent in a check? What’s wrong with that? Most Universities force you to fuck around for four years, doing unpaid work that nobody wants to look at while charging you absurd amounts of money before giving you the same piece of paper as the mail order college. I say that if you can get a Russian woman to marry you with nothing other than a PO Box and a checkbook, then I say that my PhD in Theoretical Physics from Southwestern Methodist Libertarian Arts and Sciences University Tech  is perfectly valid, even if the entire campus is located inside a Cracker Barrel. 

Hector Medina, one of Argentina's wealthiest men, had his body cryogenically frozen until medical science can develop a cure for gunshot wounds. 

Sammy Sosa claims his new lighter complexion is the result of a rejuvenation process for his skin. Making it the second time since steroids that Sosa has used science to enhance his image.  

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