A Tennessee sheriff's deputy arrested on a drunken driving charge wound up in a dog house before he was taken to the big house. The Kingsport Times-News reported the details of a Tennessee Highway Patrol arrest report, which said 47-year-old Samuel Monroe Bledsoe was kicking the windows of a trooper's cruiser on his way to a hospital for a blood test.  The report said Bledsoe was then locked inside the cruiser's K-9 cage for his safety. Bledsoe was free Wednesday on $1,500 bond. ***MARLAR: Which is $10,500 in dog money.

Federal officials want to keep Burmese pythons and eight other kinds of large snakes out of the country, saying they threaten the environment.  Interior Secretary Ken Salazar says the snakes escape or are released into the wild, where they threaten sensitive ecosystems like Florida's Everglades.  ***MARLAR: Samuel L. Jackson was unavailable for comment.

...Paramount Pictures is set to begin production on a bio-pic on the life of John Daly.  No one has been cast yet in the lead role, but contenders include Samuel Adams, Bud Weiser, and Coors de Beers.   

H1N1 is such a menace these days that it's put a dung topping on American Health Care. Yes, the Swine Flu is such a harbinger of doom that human experimentation of the drug seems to be best left alone. If pigs can fly, let's just say a better health care system for U.S. Citizens seems as close as shoving a 1,000 pound sow through the eye of a hypo-needle. 

It was pretty creepy and crawly – even for New York’s Bravest.  Firefighters in the New York City borough of Queens found snakes and creepy critters galore when they responded to a small basement fire.  Lieutenant Ed Ireland says it was like something out of a science fiction movie.  After the smoke cleared, Ireland says he saw a ten-foot python slithering near his feet.  There were also two cobras, tarantulas, two small alligators, and other creatures.  The animals’ owner was cited for health code violations.  ***MARLAR: Samuel Jackson has already signed on for the movie.

The fossil of a mini-T-Rex was discovered in China recently. It's a pygmy replication of the very large carnivore and is believed to be a downscaled version of the world's most voracious meat eating, killing machine. On a more human level, this little mini-me of T-Rex also has a family tree consisting of Dick Cheyne and some foreign leaders in Latin America, Asia and the Middle East. 

This week, President Obama delivered a speech to elementary, middle school and high school students regarding education. The speech had some parents ugly and angry over the President's intrusion into the youngster's lives. Some parents even kept their children at home the day after Labor Day, when the speech was given.

It's funny, but the shocking number of dissenting parents were school drop outs themselves, and / or never attended college classes.

An 83-year-old driver chased another man in a vehicle from New York to Connecticut after being rear-ended by the inebriated man. The oldtimer missed a wedding he was going to because he parked near the drunk's driveway until police arrived. And after helping to fill out police reports in two states, there was no time to make it to the wedding. Needless to say, there was no "shotgun wedding" involved. 

After a 17-2 loss to the Cubs Aug. 14th, the Pittsburgh Pirates managed to hold a séance after the game in honor of the late great writer Kurt Vonnegut. Vonnegut, who often wrote of time traveling in his novels, was summoned so the Pittsburgh team could return to the glory days of their baseball greatness, circa 1970s style.

A new toy that is fashioned with Michael Jackson's face and slim body has been banned by the U.S. Food & Drug Administration. Released by a Cocaine Cartel in Latin America, this dispenser shoots Morphine, Heroin and Cocaine out of Jackson's head and into the mouths of babes. On the up side of this issue, however, the Food & Drug Administration told Daily Comedy's team of investigative reporters that such a toy would not lead to harder drugs with children, though, because there are really no harder drugs on the street besides Morphine, Heroin and Cocaine.