People keep asking me, "Did ya watch the big game?" and "How about the super bowl?"

Let me explain something.  I don't watch football and I don't care about football.  I'll explain why that is.  Without argument, The NFL Superbowl is the largest event for the sport.  It's said that more people watch it than any other single broadcast in the country.  Now at least 80-90% of people I talk to say, "I only watch it for the commercials..."

WHAT!?!?!?!  WTF!  Seriously?

 So, the commercials are better than the game?  And we aren't talking about the minor leagues, either, we're talking about the Annual Pinnacle of the sport!  And more people watch it for the commercials than the game?  These same people would tell you they don't like commercials and that they are thankful for their DVR so that they can fast forward through them.  READ THIS:  If the commercials are better than the game and commercials suck, then why would I watch the game, much less any of the less-anticipated games of the season?  

I'm starting to wonder if Hal-mark or Hershey is somehow behind this.  Way to create another holiday, guys!

 Then again, I'm also assured that I "just don't understand football."

An Alaska dentist has given a bald eagle a unique beak - using a temporary crown, sticky poster putty and yellow highlighter. The bird was found in December with severe damage to its beak, apparently from fishing line that wrapped around it and started cutting into it.  Cindy Palmatier at the Bird Treatment and Learning Center says staff there decided to turn to dentist Kirk Johnson, who thought of patching up the beak with the same material used to make temporary crowns for people.  The "crown" is being held on with poster putty, and Johnson colored it in using highlighter to give it a yellow tint. The bird center says the eagle is doing just fine but won't be able to return to the wild.  ***MARLAR: Because even the animal kingdom sees ugly nose jobs. 

People keep asking me, "Did ya watch the big game?" and "How about the super bowl?"

Let me explain something.  I don't watch football and I don't care about football.  I'll explain why that is.  Without argument, The NFL Superbowl is the largest event for the sport.  It's said that more people watch it than any other single broadcast in the country.  Now at least 80-90% of people I talk to say, "I only watch it for the commercials..."

WHAT!?!?!?!  WTF!  Seriously?

 So, the commercials are better than the game?  And we aren't talking about the minor leagues, either, we're talking about the Annual Pinnacle of the sport!  And more people watch it for the commercials than the game?  These same people would tell you they don't like commercials and that they are thankful for their DVR so that they can fast forward through them.  READ THIS:  If the commercials are better than the game and commercials suck, then why would I watch the game, much less any of the less-anticipated games of the season?  

I'm starting to wonder if Halmark or Heshey is somehow behind this.  Way to create another holiday.

 Then again, I'm also assure that I "just don't understand football."

As I sat watching The Who perform the song, "Who Are You?" during halftime, I was asking the same question...Who are the guys playing the bass and drums, and who are the two old dudes singing and playing guitar?

Psssssstttttt!  Hey, Listen, 

Osama Bin Laden Is Dead. 

Don't tell anyone.

Rush Limbaugh has pounced on Rahm Emanuel's "retarded" blunder and is using the same offensive term to bludgeon his enemies on the left.

"Our political correct society is acting like some giant insult has taken place by calling a bunch of people who are retards, retards," Limbaugh said on the show.

Guy walks into a bar.  He notices a middle aged attractive woman sitting at the bar, sits down next to her and tries to strike up a conversation.

"So what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?"

She turns and glares at him.  "Look, let's get this straight. I don't want to be hit on. I don't want to be oggled.  I don't want to be groped.  You got all that?"

Guy says.  "Hey, we're on the same page. I want to get straight to the sex too!"

The girl is a student, dancer,  and former love interest of Roman Polanski

A Tennessee sheriff's deputy arrested on a drunken driving charge wound up in a dog house before he was taken to the big house. The Kingsport Times-News reported the details of a Tennessee Highway Patrol arrest report, which said 47-year-old Samuel Monroe Bledsoe was kicking the windows of a trooper's cruiser on his way to a hospital for a blood test.  The report said Bledsoe was then locked inside the cruiser's K-9 cage for his safety. Bledsoe was free Wednesday on $1,500 bond. ***MARLAR: Which is $10,500 in dog money.

Everybody has to stop all this foolishness that Osama Bin Laden is alive, living in a cave and send audio tapes to the world. Is this just another of Cheney's stupid ideas to keep the war on terrorists alive?

If he is alive what the hell is doing living in a cave?  And why is sending stupid audio tapes?  Who the hell makes audio tapes? If he's got electricity in that cave, why doesn't he make a video flipping everyone off?

And the news media goes crazy everytime a tape is let loose. "Osama Bin Laden Is Alive, Osama Bin Laden Is Alive, Osama Bin Laden Is Alive."  Shut up!  He's not alive.  If he is alive he would look like Jeff Dunham's puppet Achmed the Dead.

Hey. Maybe he is Achmed, "Silence, I keel you."