I stopped reading X-Men when the stories started getting too far-fetched. But then I realized I'm a grown man worried about the plausibility of a comic book.

A dozen Klansmen protested a football game at the University Of Mississippi for not playing "Dixie" at the game. There were also plans to protest the black athletes, but the KKK had money riding on the over.

In Virginia, death row inmates get to choose between execution by electric chair or lethal injection. This limited number of choices reflects poorly on the state's creativity. How about death by fireworks, where the criminal is zapped by fireworks from Lady Gaga's bra? Or how about death by boredom, where a prisoner is forced to read the entire 2,000 page House of Representatives health care bill? (Oops, we forgot that "cruel and unusual punishment" is ruled out by the Eighth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution.)

...there is a new social website for senior citizens.  www.seniorpeoplemeet.com , where you can join today, meet tomorrow, and forget who they are the next day.   

I saw an article today under the headline 10 Signs Your Boyfriend Is Lying. But I was groggy when I first read it and thought the last word was Dying.

Wouldn't that have been a fun article If I read that correctly:

SIGN 1: He cancels plans with you because he's been coughing up blood for 2 days straight.

SIGN 2: He spends less time with you than with a Hospice... 

Larry Brown is calling teams on behalf of Allen Iverson. The process is taking forever since he's using a rotary phone.

What have we done to our kids tho seriously?, things were alot different when i was growing up, Fast food is now healthy, video games now have fucken fitness programmes, have you seen that shit. Wii Fit.got this fucken board that you stand on and it tells you how fat you are...wow, thanks...im glad i bought this game.

Seriously dont buy this game for your girlfriends if you EVER want to get laid again. Here you go honey its fun,stand on this..calculating body mass....Oh wow you got.... the high... score...yaaaaaaaay :s ..the couch?....ok :(. 

The comedian is when you tell a woman a joke after sex, and it makes her laugh so hard, cum shoots out her nose.

Today Headline.....

FAA glitch causes widespread US air travel delays!

Tomorrow Headline....

Health Care Administration glitch causes widespread Us deaths! 

A news article revealed today that there's a staggering shortage of Eggo Waffles. Kellogg will start rationing supplies, while Aunt Jemima Syrup will be brought in via The Underground RailRoad.