Police said trespassing charges would not be filed against Rosie O'Donnell.

Rumor has it Rosie O'Donnell and wife Kellie Carpenter may be heading for splitsville . Rosie admitted she had a feeling once they made gay marriage legal this would happen ....  In other news, the producer of  Paris Hilton's Best Friend Forever show have offered Rosie O'Donnell her own reality series next season .  Some possible titles for the show are  " Who Wants To Marry An Obese Obnoxious Lesbian " or  " The Dykes Next Door  " and finally ...  " The Rosie O'Donnell Bad Butch Needs A Hot Bitch Show  "

 A new study finds obese people have 8 percent less brain tissue than normal-weight individuals.  That explains Rosie O’Donnell’s stupidity!

Police in Ohio say Edna Jester, 89, is facing a charge of petty theft

because neighborhood children accuse her of refusing to give back their football.

In a related story, Patricia Pitt of Illinois was taken downtown and arrested

when she refused to come outside and play hop scotch,

ring around the rosie and duck, duck, goose.

 Actress Rosie Perez has expressed interested in playing the lead role in a rumored biopic about Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor. The movie is tentatively titled "White Men Can't Judge."

In other equally surprising news, Rosie O’Donnell likes to eat,  Bernie Madoff is a thief, and Elvis is still dead.

The Cardinal was criticized for his remark regarding the search for qualified spriritual leaders, “It’s not enough to have a skirt, you have to have something between your ears as well”.  Rosie O’Donnell said it’s not fair that even if she decided to “roll play” and wear a skirt, she still wouldn’t make the cut.

“Rush Limbaugh is now the official spokesperson for the Republican Party” so says the leader of the Obama administration, Rosie O'Donnell.

The criticism quickly ended however once the AP learned they were tapes of the Rosie O’Donnell show.