62-year-old Edward Ates is up on murder charges in Hackensack, New Jersey, and he's chosen an interesting defense. Ates says he's too fat to have killed his former son-in-law-- at least not the way prosecutors claim it happened. The victim, 40-year-old Paul Duncsak, was shot six times as he walked down a hallway in his home. The shooter first fired from a staircase leading to the basement. That was followed by several shots fired head-on. In order to do that, Ates' attorney says his client would have had to run up the stairs. At 5- feet-8 and 285 pounds, the attorney says he was just too fat to have pulled it off. At the time of the killing, Duncsak and Ates' daughter were involved in a bitter custody dispute after their divorce. Early in court testimony, Ates' doctor testified that bounding up the stairs would have caused Ates to become short of breath and shake, making it difficult to keep his wrist straight enough to accurately fire a gun at someone from a distance. (myway.com)  ***MARLAR: Not guilty by reason of gluttony!

The Washington Nationals have reported that their local TV ratings rose 67 percent this year . . . to 1.67 people.

Wow..That Obama...Nobel Prize.....at this rate he will be inducted to baseball's hall of fame before Pete Rose..... 

Maya Angelou is working on getting poetry clubs started in several prisons.The program will be called Prose & Cons. 

Obama should consider bailing out the Chicago Cubs....then he could win this years Major League Baseball's coveted MVP prize and induction into the Hall of Fame before Pete Rose!  

A trail of tobacco spit has led investigators to a suspect in at least five burglaries across eastern Oklahoma, police said. Randy Lee Shoopman Jr., 33, was charged with 11 counts of second-degree burglary after a sample of his DNA matched that taken from the discharge left behind at the scenes of several burglaries in Oklahoma said a spokesperson for the local police department. The spokesperson also said it was a good thing the suspect was heterosexual; otherwise may have preferred to swallow rather than spit.

 The Prosecutor said, "Prime Minister Berlusconi is a fool for thinking he can use immunity to get his many indiscretions "pasta" the Italian people."

FBI records reveal that Anna Nicole Smith was under investigation in 2000 and 2001 for a murder-for-hire plot. 

Prosecutors ultimately decided there wasn’t enough evidence to charge the model. 

They couldn’t prove she enlisted any outside help in killing her career.

Authorities were, however, able to convict Smith of slaughtering 4 Big Macs, 3 large fries, and a 20-piece Chicken McNuggets — all in a single sitting. 

Obama's job approval rose even though he has accomplished nothing.   If Obama continues to accomplish nothing for the next three years, he should win re-election in a landslide.

Barack Obama on Monday filled the Rose Garden with doctors supportive of his health care overhaul.  No wonder I had no trouble getting a tee time.