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Search "Rivera" returned 13 Jokes
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Neil Berliner
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Crash Course in Auto Technology

By: Neil Berliner (C)
Submitted: Jan 8, 2010
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Ford

91 Jokes  7 Videos

Ford has solved the driver’s dilemma of “not much to do besides texting, drinking coffee, and putting on makeup”. Their new cars will permit drivers to Tweet, “a feature that shows brilliance and innovation” according to the auto collision website icrashedmycar.com.


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DARREN MARLAR
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DMV Law Enforcement

By: DARREN MARLAR (C)
Submitted: Oct 16, 2009
Category: News  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

FBI

72 Jokes  1 Videos

The DMV may soon be looking at you in their crime cases. The FBI launched a project this week in North Carolina that uses state driver's license photos and facial-recognition technology to track down crime suspects.  ***MARLAR: Gosh-awful driver’s license photos will now double as gosh-awful mug shots. 

 


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DARREN MARLAR
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Driving Blindly

By: DARREN MARLAR (C)
Submitted: Oct 11, 2009
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Cop

1506 Jokes  17 Videos

In the United Kingdom, a blind man has been convicted of dangerous driving after police spotted his car on the wrong side of the road. Omed Aziz was apparently being guided by someone who was in the passenger seat, because that individual had lost their license. Aziz is also partially deaf and suffers from leg tremors.  ***MARLAR: Wait a minute.  Mr. Aziz was driving because the other guy lost his license?  So a blind guy in the U.K. CAN have a driver’s license?!?!

 


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Dan Vollmayer
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Spitzer's Agenda Comes Into Focus

By: Dan Vollmayer (C)
Submitted: Mar 14, 2008
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Eliot Spitzer

52 Jokes  1 Videos

Spitzer's Agenda Comes Into FocusI think I’ve got this Elliot Spitzer thing all figured out. During this past year Governor Spitzer tried to pass a law allowing illegal immigrants to have a driver’s license.

Makes sense to me. How else were these hookers getting to the Governor’s mansion?

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Marcus Howard
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The Skew: Men take corpse to store to cash check

By: Marcus Howard (C)
Submitted: Jan 14, 2008
Category: Weird  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Cop

1506 Jokes  17 Videos

Two men were arrested on fraud charges after wheeling a dead man through the streets in an office chair and trying to cash his Social Security check at a check-cashing store.

The men said they presented the dead body as a form of identification.

“Everything we did was within the rules of the store,” one man said. “The cashier said asked for two forms of ID, so we brought the guy’s driver’s license and his body. No one ever said cashing a check requires vital signs.”

His partner described what they did as ventriloquism with a purpose.

“We did most of it from below the counter,” he said. “I held the body up against the counter, and my friend took care of all the motion, stuff like pushing the dead guy’s driver’s license across the counter with his hand. I did all of the dead guy’s talking, like explaining why he left one of his feet at the door.”

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Chad Reiling
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Beauty's not all that's in the eye

By: Chad Reiling (C)
Submitted: Nov 26, 2007
Category: News  

Beauty's not all that's in the eyeIngrid Marie Rivera beat 29 rivals to become the island's 2008 Miss Universe contestant, despite applying makeup and wearing evening gowns that had been coated with pepper spray, causing her face to swell up and break out into bright red hives twice.

I'll bet the losers of this beauty pageant all have great personalities, though.

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Dan Vollmayer
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spitzer pulls the plug

By: Dan Vollmayer (C)
Submitted: Nov 24, 2007
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Eliot Spitzer

52 Jokes  1 Videos

New York Governor Spitzer has pulled the plug on his plan for allowing illegal immigrants to have driver’s licenses.

So good luck getting a cab this weekend.

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Ricardo Aleman
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Nicole Richie: Yes, I Am Pregnant

By: Ricardo Aleman (C)
Submitted: Aug 1, 2007
Category: Entertainment  Staff Pick!
From Hot Topic

Nicole Richie

49 Jokes  2 Videos

Nicole Richie: Yes, I Am PregnantVia abcnews.com
Photo by Ida Mae Astute / ABC

Nicole Richie and her boyfriend of the week, Joel Madden, are having a baby!

Take a close look at this photo from their Diane Sawyer "Good Morning America" interview.

They are both wearing the most conservative clothes they own, probably with the tags still on the back. Nicole is just so happy to be having a baby, not realizing babies are a lot harder to raise than a cabbage patch kid.

Meanwhile, her baby's daddy has his eyes closed in hopes that this is all just a dream and he will wake up any minute now and go back to smoking pot and watching the "Family Guy" marathon. Moments later he will open his eyes and think, "It's going to be a lot harder to talk her into an abortion after this national interview."

On a side note, in the interests of public safety, the baby will be born with its driver’s license revoked.

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Steve Hofstetter
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O'Reilly and Geraldo Disagree

By: Steve Hofstetter (C)
Submitted: Apr 9, 2007
Category: Political  
From Hot Topic

Bill O'Reilly

10 Jokes  1 Videos

Fox News personalities Bill O'Reilly and Geraldo Rivera argued on air, something rare for the network. O'Reilly said all the Democrats were wrong and the Republicans were right, while Geraldo insisted that all the Republicans were right and the Democrats were wrong.

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Rob Cioffi
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Campbell Soup

By: Rob Cioffi (C)
Submitted: Mar 8, 2007
Category: News  
From Hot Topic

Naomi Campbell

11 Jokes

Campbell SoupA new law in France makes commiting "happy slapping" - the youth fad of filming violent acts - a crime punishable by up to five years in prison.

Fox immeadiately announced the cancellation of it's new reality show "Naomi on the Rivera".

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