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 I think I’ve got this Elliot Spitzer thing all figured out. During this past year Governor Spitzer tried to pass a law allowing illegal immigrants to have a driver’s license.
Makes sense to me. How else were these hookers getting to the Governor’s mansion?
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Two men were arrested on fraud charges after wheeling a dead man through the streets in an office chair and trying to cash his Social Security check at a check-cashing store.
The men said they presented the dead body as a form of identification.
“Everything we did was within the rules of the store,” one man said. “The cashier said asked for two forms of ID, so we brought the guy’s driver’s license and his body. No one ever said cashing a check requires vital signs.”
His partner described what they did as ventriloquism with a purpose.
“We did most of it from below the counter,” he said. “I held the body up against the counter, and my friend took care of all the motion, stuff like pushing the dead guy’s driver’s license across the counter with his hand. I did all of the dead guy’s talking, like explaining why he left one of his feet at the door.”
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 Ingrid Marie Rivera beat 29 rivals to become the island's 2008 Miss Universe contestant, despite applying makeup and wearing evening gowns that had been coated with pepper spray, causing her face to swell up and break out into bright red hives twice.
I'll bet the losers of this beauty pageant all have great personalities, though.
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New York Governor Spitzer has pulled the plug on his plan for allowing illegal immigrants to have driver’s licenses.
So good luck getting a cab this weekend.
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 Via abcnews.com
Photo by Ida Mae Astute / ABC
Nicole Richie and her boyfriend of the week, Joel Madden, are having a baby!
Take a close look at this photo from their Diane Sawyer "Good Morning America" interview.
They are both wearing the most conservative clothes they own, probably with the tags still on the back. Nicole is just so happy to be having a baby, not realizing babies are a lot harder to raise than a cabbage patch kid.
Meanwhile, her baby's daddy has his eyes closed in hopes that this is all just a dream and he will wake up any minute now and go back to smoking pot and watching the "Family Guy" marathon. Moments later he will open his eyes and think, "It's going to be a lot harder to talk her into an abortion after this national interview."
On a side note, in the interests of public safety, the baby will be born with its driver’s license revoked.
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Fox News personalities Bill O'Reilly and Geraldo Rivera argued on air, something rare for the network. O'Reilly said all the Democrats were wrong and the Republicans were right, while Geraldo insisted that all the Republicans were right and the Democrats were wrong.
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 A new law in France makes commiting "happy slapping" - the youth fad of filming violent acts - a crime punishable by up to five years in prison.
Fox immeadiately announced the cancellation of it's new reality show "Naomi on the Rivera".
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