There are matchmakers and then there are match breakers, such as the Huron County judge who sent a woman to jail for polygamy and gave her six months to divorce one of her husbands. Lorri L. Freesland of Kinde pleaded guilty to the charge in December.  Circuit Judge M. Richard Knoblock on Monday sentenced the 43-year-old Freesland to 15 days in jail and one year of probation. He also told her she had six months to resolve her marital status.  ***MARLAR: At which point she’ll likely still get half one husband’s stuff and still have access to all of the other husband’s stuff.  She breaks the law and still gets all-and-a-half from her husbands!

PETA is here to save the day yet again!! By saving Punxsutawney Phil? Living the lavish lifestyle of a celebrity groundhog is apparently cruel and stressful according to PETA!! However, William Deeley, president of the Inner Circle of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club, counters this claim by saying "Punxsutawney Phil is being treated better than the average child in Pennsylvania.' Indeed, Punxsutawney Phil is treated like a king, surely the envy of all of his fellow groundhogs."

I am assuming that what William Deeley is implying is that Punxsutawney Phil is treated very well and not that people in Pennsylvania treat their children less than they would a common rodent? But I could be wrong!! I did date a girl from Pittsburgh once and that would explain why she sported a Mullet hairstyle, constantly pissed on my leg in public, and every third word was "Steelers"! But regardless of what I believe or don't believe about the inbreeding between Pennsylvania residents, PETA has gone too far!! Seriously, you think working one hour a year, if you consider looking at your freakn' shadow work, is too stressful!! Try being a a hamster living at Richard Gere's house!!! That's Fckn' stressful!! I don't see PETA issuing any statements asking Mr.Gere to use a freakn' "robotic" hamster looking dildo instead of a live rodents in his ass!! WTF!! So apparently in the eyes of PETA, big rodents=cool, little rodents=Fck em'!! That my friends is hypocrisy at it's best!!

Diane Kruger & Richard Gere were honored as 

best International actor and actress at

Germany's Golden Camera Award.

Richard Gere said to the host,

"Okay, I got the award but I should get to hold

THEM too!"

 Hang in there.
 
The forest was full of Pine Trees thick as grass with a dirt road that led the fox up the path. The fox was collard by a leash of a chain. If you were to see the fox on a picture 20 feet in width, you would notice the chain of leash extended with no one in sight. The fox was not tired of being held by this chain for he had done it many times before. The fox was strong now and could smell he was on the right path. The fox had just made it up a light incline through the forest on the dirt grassy road.  He knew the holder of his leash was no where in site to be sure.. he had lost sight of the holder of the leash once he had made it around the bend in the road and hurried over the top of the hill.. The fox glanced back to be sure and looked over his right shoulder and all he could see was the leash that was still pulled tight off the ground pulling to the left tight around the bend in the road. The  fox knew this time by instinct his senses were right. As the fox traveled up further through the black forest his paws could feel the dirt and his sensitive smell made him turn to a look again behind. His nose sensed and saw three wild ducks or chickens crossing the path he moments before had passed. The fox said to himself screw them, I could eat them all if I wanted too but he pressed onward. The vibrations were getting to fabricate in his ears and he moved more swiftly towards the humming. All of a sudden the humming of the Queen bee engulfed his whole fox senses. At that moment a gigantic Queen bee appeared before the fox, and at that moment the collar was released from the fox and all the weight of the world and the chain dropped for the first time in years as the Queen bee carried the fox off to a pot of Honey and dropped him in. The honey tasted so good.
Thank you Mister Richards said the man behind the desk. Welcome to our company. Mr. Richards reached out his hand and shook the hand of the owner of the largest clothes manufacturer in the world and said thank you sir for hiring me. As Mr. Richards left the lobby and walked out into the street. He looked up to the Heavens and said “Thank You God, I’m glad that’s over.”
 
Scot Marinick

Richard Heene, who admitted orchestrating the balloon boy hoax, reported to jail Monday to begin a 90-day jail sentence.  Wait a minute, wasn't it Falcon who spilled the beans?

The Zhu Zhu Gerbil, although the Richard Gere collector's edition is selling well on eBay, and the Barack Obama dildo, which is long on promises and short on delivery.

Pentecostal televangelist and phoney faith-healer, 91 year old Oral Roberts has gone to that big con-game in the sky last Tuesday. Apparently he was unable to heal his way out of pneumonia that killed him on Dec 15.  " It's a great loss for most of our gullible members here at the ministry and university in Tulsa, Oklahoma . "  said son Richard Roberts in a CNN interview last Sunday. " We have decided our sister, Roberta "Anal" Roberts shall take over the duties for our dead dad .   

So ladies, how do you make him fall in love? Take him on a rollercoaster ride. Or bungee-jumping. Or whitewater rafting. Literally. It turns out that stomach flips, adrenaline and screams associated with any white-knuckle event create a rush of the hormone that makes us fall in love, according to research from Richard Robinson, author of "Why the One You Fancy Never Fancies You." That hormone is called phenylethylamine. An important component in the science of attraction, it is secreted when you see someone you really like.  ***MARLAR: I fell in love with my wife Robin from the adrenaline rush of being in the passenger seat when she was driving.  My heart is still racing.

Billionaire Richard Branson is rolling out a spacecraft for the wealthy as early as 2011.  Just in time for a black president, we can officially name a space ship The White Flight.

Richard and Mayumi Heene will host this year's annual Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in New York City . This will be the first time a host will bring their own balloon !