Christy Harp, a teacher from Ohio, won top honors in a pumpkin-growing contest.

Her 1,725-pound gourd is expected to set a world record.

In related headlines…

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Boulder police have ticketed about a dozen people running naked on the street while sporting pumpkins on their heads as part of an annual Halloween event. Ugly people everywhere rejoiced as they realized that they could now tell their partners that they can place something else on their head during intercourse rather than a paper bag.

...Tinted Windows, a new supergroup comprised of members of Cheap Trick, Smashing Pumpkins, Fountains of Wayne, and featuring "Mmmmbop" singer Taylor Hanson on vocals, have announced their 1st tour...shows will begin at 8 PM...band will play for an hour, and then break for 30 minutes while Taylor does his homework. 

...a 450 lb pumpkin was stolen from a display in the grower's front yard...suspects include the man's neighbor, a college fraternity, and marie callendar.

I have come to the conclusion after seeing my neighbors decorate their houses for Halloween that Pumpkins are the angriest of all the vegetables

Chillout!!! Of all the Cururbita Cucubitaceae I know, your the most delicious...as a soup OR as a seasonal Ale!!

I notice that everyone uses pictures on this site so I thought I'd give it a shot--

This is a pumpkin patch. 

Scientists at Monsanto corporation are working to breed a pumpkin with the perfect stem for making a jack-o'-lantern lid.

After that, they hope to move on to the next step- breeding a second stem with a hand, that can grab a knife, carve out it's own face, plop a candle in it's head, and drag itself to your porch.

I don't know about you guys, but there's nothing like a World's Biggest Pumpkin Competition to make me forget the world is in its final days.