A recent study proports to estimate how long you have to live based on various life-events and life-style habits.

Unemployed or underemployed for the past 9 years. Check.  Former alcoholic. Check. Glass half empty frame of mind. Check. Married but miserable. Check. Male. Check.  Economic-disaster area of the country. Check.  Full of rage. Check.

I guess I have about 12 minutes to live.  Quick.  Rate this joke so I can die happy. 

It’s not exactly official, but should also surprise no one: According to a new study the psychological profile of iPad owners can be summed up as “selfish elites” while have-not critics are “independent geeks.”

_________

The report was sent by iPad from a NY Times reporter, who requested a dash of nutmeg while sipping a latte at a SoHo Starbucks.

A study reports dogs "automatically imitate" the body movements of their owners. After his lab "Buddy" jumped a fence and mated with a neighbor's dog, ex-president Clinton emphatically stated, "I did not have sex with that poodle."

Hillary's been pretty busy helping to prepare for Chelsea's wedding. There are caterers to hire, invitations to mail, & a force field to install;...... to stop the Paparazzi,...... & those annoying, whizzing bullets.

    Today Barack Obama was the special guest on The View  . He told the White House Press how much he enjoys going on Ladies Daytime TV shows . "  I feel safe and at ease being with those Old Hags . I know nobody is going to ask me any difficult political questions or why I am such an ineffective President " said Obama .    Next week Obama plans to do the Wendy Williams show , " She's a completely lame brain kiss-ass "  said Obama .     Barack Obama is most excited about being a contestant on RuPaul's Drag Race in September .  " I know that's one contest I can't lose  ! "

‎"Pipeline spills oil into Michigan's Kalamazoo River" Fuck here we go again.. Why dont we just call the pro's they've been cleaning up oil spills for years!!!!

On ABC's The View, President Obama said that he was not invited to Chelsea Clinton's wedding. Not to worry, Tareq and Michaele Salahi promised to email him pictures of the wedding.

 A Federal judge has blocked key provisions of the infamous Arizona anti-immigrant law, SB 1070, from being implemented. For Jan Brewer instead of  deporting a dirty Sanchez, she received one.

Just further evidence to prove my point: That women can't drive.

15 year old Pro Golfer Alexis Thompson won't be allowed to play in one of the LPGA Tour's biggest events.  Apparently pro golf is okay with being associated with skanky cocktail waitresses, but they draw the line at underage girls.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

http://www.sarahblodgettonline.com/

http://blog.sarahblodgettonline.com/