Police in Lima, Peru claim to have busted a human-fat trafficking ring.. Allegedly, fat tissue was harvested from the victims and sold to European cosmetic labs for as much as $60,000 a gallon...
At that price, Jennifer Lopez and Kim Kardashian are literally sitting on gold mines...

Worried that she might be the gang's next target, police are giving 24-hour protection to Kirstie Alley. 

San Diego police are still trying to find the suspect in what they’re calling the “This Ain’t No Joke” robbery series: A Cold Stone Creamery, one Pinkberry and one TF Yogurt robbed within 90 minutes Sunday. The crime method was the same in all five cases. The robber burst through the door and yelled something like “This ain’t no joke:

I’m serious. This is a robbery.” Later that day, comedian Louie Anderson surrendered without incident.

Seattle police say a man who thought he was ninja was impaled on a metal fence when he tried to leap over it. At least he now knows he is not a vampire.

Police said trespassing charges would not be filed against Rosie O'Donnell.

A United Airlines pilot was arrested at London's Heathrow Airport yesterday for being drunk .  The co-pilot allegedly blew the whistle on pilot Erwin Vermont Washington just moments before they were to take-off . Washington denied he was intoxicated at the time of his arrest . As Scotland Yard detectives escorted Mr Washington out of the cockpit and into a waiting police car, he was heard shouting,  " You damned Brits still can't get over losing the colony 230 years ago ! "   Asked what he will do for a job afterwards, Washington told a reporter " I'll probably sign-up with Northwest Airlines . "

Mike Tyson was detained by the police after hitting a photographer at LAX. He was the only person there to make his connection.
 

Chinese police are looking for over two million defective condoms.

Thousands of bees swarmed outside a New York City game store, trapping employees inside for hours. Worried employees looked out the window of the store while talking on the phone as the bees clustered Saturday afternoon. Eventually, a police bee specialist arrived and used a scent of a queen bee to collect the rest of the swarm. The officer observed most of the workers doing nothing about the situation, but they did have a tight grip on their joysticks.

...workers at the Boone's Farm winery showed up to work to find the place vandalized and robbed.  Initially police had no idea who had broken in, and suspected a local gang had perpetrated the crime.  The case was solved when they found 4 teenagers passed out in a store room.  Apparently the vandals couldnt resist sampling the product and became so inebriated they couldnt find their way out. The four were charged with being bad to the Boone.