The green movement is claiming that "diaper-free babies" will help save the planet.  That’s right – no diapers on babies at all.  They say disposable diapers create landfill waste, while washing cloth diapers pollutes the water.  So what is their solution?  Their "retro, cutting-edge, environmentally-friendly" idea is to encourage moms to let their babies go diaperless and carry tight-lidded buckets with them. They suggest parents get in tune with the baby's bodily signals, and when it's ready to, well, “let fly,” hold the baby over the bucket, a toilet, bushes, or any convenient receptacle.  ***MARLAR: How about holding the baby over the head of anyone who suggests this?  You think sitting next to a baby on an airplane is bad now…

The Mars Rover is stuck in a sand trap on the Red Planet.Tiger Woods says he will hole it out for a 20 million dollar appearance fee. 

Despite getting lectured by PETA, Al Gore says he isn't going on a vegetarian diet to save the planet. Hey, Al's so fat, if he just goes on any kind of diet, he may save the planet.

If you are tired of earthly news you should know that astronomers have found 32 new planets outside our solar system, adding evidence to the theory that the universe has many places where life could exist.  Scientists using the European Southern Observatory telescope didn't find any planets quite the size of Earth or any that seemed habitable or even unusual. But their announcement increased the number of planets discovered outside the solar system to more than 400.  ***MARLAR: And they have not yet figured out which planet Shirley Maclaine came from.

The Sun's enormous plasma balls may wipe out our technology-driven civilization, says  NaturalNews.com.

"Natural fluctuations in the sun's atmosphere could cause it to fire a giant plasma ball at Earth, shutting down the planet's electric grids and leading to widespread social collapse, according to a report from the U.S. National Academy of Sciences (NAS).

In other words, if the sun decides to "teabag" us, we're dead.  Thought you'd want to know. 

The Spitzer Space Telescope has discovered the biggest but never-before-seen ring around the planet Saturn. The thin array of ice and dust particles lies at the far reaches of the Saturnian system and its orbit is tilted 27 degrees from the planet's main ring plane.  ***MARLAR: Not to worry though, they feel they can remove those stubborn rings using Wisk.

If you were on the planet Mercury, it would seem like a year or more from one day to the next. That’s because Mercury, being close to the sun, revolves around it in only 88 days, completing one year. But it takes twice as long as that for Mercury to make one full rotation on its axis thus completing a full day. ***MARLAR: And the day would go even slower if you were in the office. 

The combined influence of these two heavyweights should be enough to bring the 2016 Summer Olympics to Chicago.  After all, one is the most powerful person on the planet, and the other is the President of the United States.

A former administrative-law judge who unsuccessfully sued a dry cleaner for 54 million dollars over a pair of lost pants tried to convince an appeals panel that he deserves the money because he is a fraud victim.

When asked if he thought this was a frivolous lawsuit, Donald Trump responded with “Of course not. In fact I just filed a 1.2 trillion dollar lawsuit against everyone on the planet”.

When asked why.

Donald said. “ I figure everyone on the planet has done at least one thing to piss me off”.

My dog has the hottest bitch on the planet,and will kill without hesitation.It's a Brad Pit Bull.