Thousands of ethnic Albanians braved low temperatures and a cold wind in Kosovo's capital Pristina to welcome former President Bill Clinton on Sunday as he attended the unveiling of an 11-foot (3.5-meter) statue of himself on a key boulevard that also bears his name. Clinton is celebrated as a hero by Kosovo's ethnic Albanian majority for launching NATO's bombing campaign against Yugoslavia in 1999 that stopped the brutal Serb forces' crackdown on independence-seeking ethnic Albanians.  ***MARLAR: He had the Albanians take photos of him next to the statue so he could prove to Hillary that he was truly there.

The DMV may soon be looking at you in their crime cases. The FBI launched a project this week in North Carolina that uses state driver's license photos and facial-recognition technology to track down crime suspects.  ***MARLAR: Gosh-awful driver’s license photos will now double as gosh-awful mug shots. 

To try to reach young people around the world, the memorial museum at Auschwitz has launched a page on Facebook, the social networking site usually home to news and photos about friends.  It has sent thousands of friend requests, saying that they just need help in “Farmville”.

not building a centrifuge to make a nuclear bomb.

The bad news: They are building a Starbucks.

The photograher was shocked when Sarah Palin brought a gun to the photoshoot.

Under his revised plan, Obama and the Emanuel Brothers have added photos of a humongous Oprah to the choice of gun, knife, or poisoning for the old folks unfit to live. Said one old fart from Macon, Geogia, "And, why is Opie from Maybree in ma choices?" 

A new photo of ailing Communist leader Fidel Castro surfaced on Sunday, revealing a more healthy-looking man than in prior photos.

This is due to a low-fat diet, a strict regimen of vitamins and a new version of Photoshop.

Embarrassing photos of Josh Hamilton surfaced this week. The pictures showed him drunk, with women that were not his wife, and in a Reds uniform.

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Now I don't want to pontificate but why in a modern age are we bound by the shackles of  irrelevant guidelines so out dated they make Alexander Graham Bell's first prototypes look like an updated iPhone from the year 2025?

I mean seriously between the rules of religious documents from other millenniums to the regulations of legal documents from other centuries the newest code we follow is 6 months older than McCain's great-great grandfather's baby journal photos on papyrus.

Gandhi said, before you break the rules, you must know them. Well hey study time is over, final exams are graded and it's time to cut loose over Spring Break in Cancun, alright?

Hey, stop waiting for Godot, pick up the pen, and let's make these arbitrary absurdities less strict than Fellini as Drill Master Sergeant at Fascism boot camp.

Seriously folks, I mean, let's not cite from the Sex Pistol's lyrics or the pages of the Anarchist's Cookbook.

But let's face it people, wind your sundial from BC to digital with a little Abby Hoffman revolution or James Dean rebellion by declaring a new independence from the old Declaration of Independence.

Alright, hell the Old Testament was old since the birth of Christ. It's so old that we consider it's 2000 yr young sequel the NEW one, okay!

What I'm saying is, if we don't upgrade from all these ridiculous relic restrictions then we're a twelve sided dice piece and nerdy-anal-retentive-level 6-wizard of middle earth away from following more stupid instructions than a level-1-newbie-dwarf in a dictatorship of Dungeons and Dragons.

Bottom line and truth be told, times change, people change, and so should our hand books of social norms.

On the other hand I said I don't want to pontificate, so whatever, y'know?

The three story Tudor house where the Allman Brothers band was founded and where they lived is set to open as a museum this December. Visitors will be able to see Duane Allman's bedroom the way it was decorated, photos of the band and Gregg's collection of Cher's underwear.