...there is a new social website for senior citizens.  www.seniorpeoplemeet.com , where you can join today, meet tomorrow, and forget who they are the next day.   

   America's young people seem barely able to make change; understand almost nothing about government; hardly read and, certainly, can't write.

   Yet, they talk, text and tweet incessantly.

   About what?  

LeBron James believes he could play in the NFL. But only if he stayed in Cleveland. Jeremy Shockey doesn't believe LeBron James deserves to play in the NFL. Then again, many people don't think Jeremy Shockey does either.

If a fart had no odor, people wouldn't raise such of a stink over it.

And have you noticed these days that silent farts are unheard of?

If you could see a fart, could you bite it?  I imagine that you could, but why would you take a bite out of something that tastes like Uhhhh...

And Larry King was named "sexiest man not alive."

Don't stare at the chimps! That's the new rule posted at the zoo in Antwerp, Belgium. Of course, you can't feed them, either. Zoo officials are particularly concerned about a male chimp named Cheetah. They worry that people staring at Cheetah will prevent him from bonding with the other apes at the park. He was raised by humans, but the zoo keepers say Cheetah is now making contact with others of his kind. ***MARLAR: So, in other words, go ahead and pay the big bucks to get into the zoo – but whatever you do, DON’T LOOK AT THE ANIMALS!

There's a new kind of DWI, driving while intoxicated by your cell phone. People talking on their cells are almost completely oblivious to what goes on around them, according to a new study from Western Washington University. Researchers used a clown riding a unicycle past participants to test the awareness of nearly 350 pedestrians. When asked if they saw the clown, 71% of those walking with a friend remembered the clown, as did 61% of those listening to music. But shockingly, only 25% of the cell phone users remembered seeing a clown on a unicycle. "If people experience so much difficulty performing the task of walking when on a cell phone, just think of what this means when put into the context of driving safety," says psychology professor Ira Hyman.  ***MARLAR: I’m not sure this is a fair analysis.  Couldn’t it be that we just see clowns on the road so often that we’re just desensitized to them?

People are so obese,the earth has been thrown out of it's orbit.It is now revolving around a huge Krispy Kreme donut.

The Supreme Court has refused to hear a case by Native Americans who consider the football team's name to be racist. Why don't the Redskins change their name to something more accurate and less offensive like the DC Colored People or the Washington Negroes?

A Democratic senator from Arkansas is not sure if she'll vote for the health care bill because she wants to make sure that it's good for the people in her state.  I say, "Vote for the bill.  We'll fly all 7 people in your state to our New York doctors whenever they're sick!."