Vanilla Ice performed at halftime of a New Jersey Nets game. To make the Nets look good in comparison.

Paris Hilton has a new CD that will showcase her intellegent side.  The CD will be released Tuesday and is called  "I Could Have Dunced All Night." 

The French have unveiled their latest weapon in the battle against sexually transmitted diseases: a 120-foot condom filled with helium that went on display Tuesday at the Palais de la Decouverte in Paris. 

Said one Frenchwoman viewing the display: "It's okay, I guess… But I've seen bigger."

Said one Frenchman also viewing the display: "What's a condom?"

What does Paris Hilton and Tiger Woods have in common? They both are a big hit with clubs.

Over 100 celebrities gathered for Friday nights's telethon.   Among the celebrities manning the phones was Paris Hilton.   Paris Hilton said the telethon was a great idea to raise money for Haiti; she thinks he will make a great senator. 

My first thought was, "Why is Vin Diesel wearing a goatee? "My second thought was, "Why does John Travolta look like Vin Diesel wearing a goatee?" My third thought, "Is there really such a shortage of Vin Diesel action movies that John Travolta has to step into the gap?"

Joey McIntyre of New Kids On The Block recently compared his group collaborating with New Edition as being like the Beatles working with the Rolling Stones. McIntyre then claimed responsibility for starting the Obama/Hitler comparisons.

French Parliament Senator Bernard Plasait issued a scathing report on why France is suffering a big drop in tourism. Turns out it's because the French are arrogant, rude and surly. The list of tourist complaints includes slow baggage handlers, no "Welcome to France" signs at the Paris airport, cab drivers who refuse to speak English, and a general haughty attitude that it's a great honor to visit France. Plasait admitted this is not a new problem, as English author Horace Walpole wrote in the 18th century that he found the French insolent and detestable. ***MARLAR: All the other French senators listened politely to his report, then they spit on him in disapproval.

Paris Hilton has leaked another video of herself. This self titled video is called DESIGNER VAGINER.

 In tonight's episode Ralph Kramden finds a suitcase full of drug money, a kilo of cocaine, Tiger Woods' cellphone, and a bottle of  Viagra on his bus . Wife Alice was heard saying " I really don't give a crap about any of Ralph's transgressions now that I have all that money and Coke .  I always dreamed I could live the life of Paris Hilton and now I can . C'mon Trixie , Let's go upstairs and party ! "