The green movement is claiming that "diaper-free babies" will help save the planet.  That’s right – no diapers on babies at all.  They say disposable diapers create landfill waste, while washing cloth diapers pollutes the water.  So what is their solution?  Their "retro, cutting-edge, environmentally-friendly" idea is to encourage moms to let their babies go diaperless and carry tight-lidded buckets with them. They suggest parents get in tune with the baby's bodily signals, and when it's ready to, well, “let fly,” hold the baby over the bucket, a toilet, bushes, or any convenient receptacle.  ***MARLAR: How about holding the baby over the head of anyone who suggests this?  You think sitting next to a baby on an airplane is bad now…

In Anchorage, Alaska, 27-year-old Cheng Saelee robbed his own mother at gunpoint because she wouldn't give him money to help pay a $430 parking ticket! The Anchorage district attorney said that Saelee was also convicted of illegally contacting his mother from jail and trying to get her to drop the charges. Saelee was arrested after he became angry during an argument with his parents, got a handgun from his room and pointed the weapon at his mother.  ***MARLAR: True to a mother’s form though, she immediately spoke up for her son saying he was the best-looking mugger she’d ever seen.

Typical  Muslim Terrrorist child upbringing words of advice from parents. "Keep to yourself, walk softly, Praise Allah and carry a Neutron Bomb at all times."

Photo Shown is a 5 year old Muslim Future Terrorist having playtime with parents.

Kellogg's just can't seem to get a break these days. Maybe you remember some weeks back the story about the angry consumer that realized that Froot Loops cereal contains no actual fruit and decided to sue for false advertising. Now Kellogg's is dealing with more false advertising claims, this time from San Francisco City Attorney, Dennis Herrera, who just announced that he has written a letter to the CEO of the cereal company demanding evidence that Cocoa Krispies really "helps support your child's immunity" as it purports to do on the front of the box. Herrera claims Kellogg's is shamefully playing to the public's fears about the recent swine flu epidemic and that they might "mislead parents into believing that serving this sugary cereal will actually boost their child's immunity, leaving them less likely to take more productive steps to protect their children's health." If you haven't seen a box of Cocoa Krispies cereal lately, they do feature a big yellow banner that reads: "Helps Support Your Child's Immunity!" Cocoa Krispies' ingredients do not include flu vaccines and the so-called "immunity" cereal is 40% sugar by weight. Kellogg's company spokesperson, Susanne Norwitz, would only say that Kellogg's Krispies cereals provide consumers with 25 percent of their daily value of vitamins A, C, and E, which play an important role in boosting immunity according to peer-reviewed, published, scientific research. (San Francisco Weekly) ***MARLAR: Using Kellogg’s rationale, I could dip my breakfast burrito into a jar of One-a-Day vitamins and say the burrito now “supports immunity.” 

Near the end of high school, I became a trained professional wrestler and thought about pursuing it after I finished school, although my parents were not keen on that idea at all. Then I switched to stand-up comedy, and all of a sudden my parents became very supportive and encouraging. Basically the message they sent me was that it's okay for me to have a drug problem, as long as I'm not grabbing another guy's ass while doing it. 

He wasn't a Balloon boy... he wasn't even in a balloon. He was found in the attic. He should have been called "Attic Boy". I think it's offensive to other balloon boys and girls who hide in weather balloons on their psycho parents to call that kid a balloon boy.

Attic boy sounds like a good name for a new superhero along with 'Bubble Boy' and 'Elephant Man'.

Get it right peoples!

Malaysia has issued a list of names that parents are banned from giving their children.  It includes any name taken from animals, colors, insects, vegetables or fruits.  ***MARLAR: Apparently, their goal is to keep celebrities out of Malaysia.

   One convict to another:

   "Was studying the Ten Commandments; I didn't like them."

   "Why not?"

   "Because--except, maybe, for that thing about honoring parents--they make me a 9-time loser!" 

Sheriff Jim Alderden brought Richard and Mayumi Heene in for questioning today . Before the interview began the sheriff asked Mrs Heene about her name .  " In Japanese MAYUMI mean, " Not-so-bright Lady who receive many Bitch-Slap from crazy American husband off camera ."  replied Mayumi

Jon Lovitz and Yoko Ono have signed with HBO  to portray Richard and Mayumi Heene, parents of  " Balloon Boy " Falcon  . Former Saturday Night Live star Jon Lovitz is best known for his role as " Tommy Flanagan, the Pathological Liar ," who's most notable quote was " Yeah, That's The Ticket ! "