Friend of mine quit expensive online dating services.

   Says too many of the women there just want to get married.

   Now he's into scrolling names of nearby female sex offenders. 

Looking to beef up your mojo this year? Burger King may have the answer. The home of the Whopper has launched a new men’s body spray called Flame, The Flame is described as “the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat.” The fragrance is in stores and online for a limited time for $3.99. For an additional 50 cents you can purchase an upgraded body spray Flame Out, which captures the scent of the gaseous fumes, which follow your consumption of the Whopper Meal Deal.

An Arizona state official is learning there's no such thing as a private joke on MySpace. Dennis Seavers is the executive director of the state fingerprinting board. He posted in his online profile that he likes to indoctrinate kids in the "splendors of lawlessness." He says it was a joke for his friends only. Seavers' page also said he lived "a quiet daytime life as a state employee." But he is really interested in "wild debauchery" and "self-promotion and enrichment." Seavers says his MySpace profile is "exactly the opposite" of him as a person. He says he wouldn't have done it if he had known everyone could see his MySpace page. Some state legislators say they still have questions about the incident.  ***MARLAR: How can an Arizona state official working in a crime division not know that MySpace is open to the public?

In addition to buying your groceries, shampoo and cleaning supplies at Wal-Mart, you can add another discounted item to your list: A casket. Yes, Wal-Mart has started selling caskets at prices that undercut most funeral homes. However, Wal-Mart's caskets are only available online from the company's web site. The selection of 15 caskets and dozens of urns ranges in price from $999 to $3,199. Most are under $2,000.  ***MARLAR: Wal-Mart actually created demand for caskets after so many of their customers were killed by the falling prices.

A recent online poll named Jimi Hendrix as the greatest guitarist of all time. The poll was also promoting a new website called noshitsherlock.com

Computers may be necessities, but they're not exactly beloved. In an online survey by the University of Maryland, 20 percent of respondents said they'd gotten so angry at a computer, they'd "crashed" it by throwing it to the floor. Others admitted cursing, smashing and microwaving their computers. One man said he'd thrown his laptop in a deep fryer, and three men had shot their computers. ***MARLAR: You have to expect a little attitude from your laptop when you keep calling it “Mac.” 

While some people are still a little bit shy about Internet dating, it's been around longer than you think. Chicago's Chris and Pam Dunn claim to be the first couple to be married after meeting online. Chris Dunn met Pam Jensen on a CompuServe CB Simulator program that linked computer users nationwide in an early version of a chat room. That was back in 1982! After a few months of virtual chatting, Chris booked a flight from New York to Chicago to meet Pam face-to-face. They married a year later and last month celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary.  ***MARLAR: They celebrated by sending each other an e-Card.

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 The word "whatever" was recently named in an online poll as the most annoying slang word. Like, what-ev-errr, faggots!!

So much for their 15 minutes of fame…

Nine women were rescued from a villa in Istanbul, Turkey on September 9th after being held there under the auspices that they were filming a reality show. Only it wasn’t a reality show; the organizers behind it were filming them in the nude and selling it online.

In related news…

Producers backing Silvio Berlusconi were forced to halt filming of the disgraced Italian Prime Minister’s own reality show… Survivor: Berlusconi’s Bedroom.