People who ridiculed the Richmond, Virginia grocery chain Ukrop's for years by calling it Ukrap's now have a new name to play with. Dutch supermarket group Ahold has bought Ukrop's, opening up a whole new can of ridicule. Even more amusing, the company's full name is Royal Ahold.

The thought of buying your groceries from a company called Ahold is probably why Ukrop's will be renamed Martin's. Since it's a Dutch company, let's hope they tell their new employees to wash their hands after putting their fingers in any dikes.

It's based on American Idol. The slogan: "Just one scratch is all it takes." When it comes to Paula Abdul, I'm not sure whether they're talking about winning a lot of money or catching herpes.

Valentine’s Day might be awkward for New York Gov. David Paterson, who has admitted to extramarital affairs. But not nearly as awkward as Father’s Day.

New York Gov. David Paterson on Monday denied rumors that he was caught cheating on his wife. He wasn't having sex with another woman, he said. He was simply masturbating inside of her.

The president invited Republicans to a half-day summit on the subject of health care in an interview with CBS News anchor Katie Couric on Sunday, saying, "What I want to do is to ask them to put their ideas on the table...," adding, "and since these are Republican ideas, the table doesn't have to be too big..."

UFC is releasing a new video game, thrilling all the UFC fans who are in good enough shape to only play video games.

Olympic organizers are concerned by the unseasonably warm weather in Vancouver. But they're looking forward to the new downhill waterskiing event.