President Obama says now that the War in Iraq is over, the top priority is to fix the economy. These acts are known as "Operation George W. Who?".

Very Public: I go to public telephone booth and all my personal conversations are heard by the public who are waiting outside the booth. I wish we had sound-proof public telephone booths.

"People should understand: Those who drink, those who smoke are doing more to help the state," say sthe nation’s finance minister Alexei Kudin

By the way Lindsay Lohan who says she wants her career back announced she'll star in Moscow production of From Russia With Buzz to promote that country's community drunkenness requirement

"I want my career back," she told Vanity Fair magazine. "I want the respect that I had when I was doing great movies."

And I want my money back for "I Know Who Killed Me" so I guess that makes us even.

*Since the surgery, the Jolly Green Giant's "Ho, Ho, Ho" has gone up a few octaves.

*Heidi Montag's now removed implants ready for display at the Smithsonian.

*Hey! Look what I picked in Roger Clemen's vinyard.

*Alright! Who's dog pissed on my snowman!

I was searching for a church home, since I renewed my life. I visited a lot of different churches. Heard a lot of different preachers, but did not trust some of the pastors that said, "I've had a checkered past..." Cause that to tells me they think its a game!

More than 600 people from 44 states and 13 countries launched a public appeal to raise $30,000 to restore five dresses worn by Vivien Leigh in Gone With the Wind.  In a related story, more than 600 people from 44 states and 13 countries desperately need a job. 

Nigerian President, Goodluck Jonathan, is on the news today. He said he's gonna declare his intentions after he's finished fasting with the Muslims. We all know why he's fasting. So he can have the balls to tell them in their faces that he's running for president!
 "I fasted with y'all, didn't I ? Paid my price."