For the third year in a row, residents and visitors have voted Philadelphia the city with the least attractive people, according to a survey by Travel + Leisure. But that's not all; the City of Brotherly Love also ranked as the least stylish, least active, least friendly and least worldly by 60,000 respondents who ranked 30 cities in several categories ranging from food to nightlife to culture. On the bright side, the beauty of the museums and art galleries was enough to boost Philly to the third spot in the Historical Sites/Monuments category.  ***MARLAR: Sadly, most of the citizens look like historical sites and monuments.

THE END OF ENGLISH

-Now, I promise to prevent precipitous postulations and pointless pontifications.

Honestly folks, when did the 'now English' become the 'new Latin?'

Look, nowadays, English's exasperation of erudition and eloquence is dependent on life support system.

Hey, lately, it appears so close to death it's one late insurance payment away from being unplugged, you know?

I mean, listen, English tried to request euthanasia copious occasions.

Fact is, it couldn't find the words and needed a dictionary like dementia victims reading their own auto-biography and being surprised.

And, Oh, by the way, soon it'll be diminished, dead, and dismissed.

You see, yesterdays cassette tape walkman of languages erased by Espanola the iPod of tomorrows talk.

Hey, truth be told, English's existence is endeavoring endangerment edging extinction entirely.

Let's face it folks, museums will exhibit pre-Hispanic speaking era fossils of Thesaurus Nexus juxtaposing prehistoric non-speaking era fossils of Tyrannosaurs Rexes, all right?

Now, our vernacular, vocabulary, and will vanish at velocity while violins will play a minor key sonata.

Christ's sake, I mean, English's FINAL words will have to be translated by Rosetta Stone post humanely.

Of course, then we'll have misinterpreted wills, mispronounced eulogy, and misspelled tombstone.

Hey, bottom line folks, at that point, mourners will truly be speechless, okay?

Ethiopia's acclaimed archaeological find--the 3.2 million-year-old remains of a female hominid known as Lucy--will come to America in September 2007 at the Houston Museum of National Science and then to 10 other U.S. museums.

Body guards are being lined up for the skeleton, which will need protection from Bill Clinton who, after seeing the 2,300-year-old remains of an Incan girl in 1996, told reporters, "You know, if I were a single man, I might ask that mummy out. That's a good-looking mummy. Really, you should go see her."