NEW MOON? Vampires? Werewolves? lol! Give me a break! I saw the first Twilight movie and it was one of the gayest, most stupid movies I've ever seen. What ever happened to the old vampires... Big, Mean, Scary? The ones now look like anorexic Backstreet Boys! The Count from Sesame Street would have been scarier!..lol "One, one sissy little werewolf...Two, two sissy little werewolves...THREE, THREE SISSY LITTLE WEREWOLVES! AH! AH! AH! AH! AHhhh!"

Authorities in a small North Dakota coal mining town want bar owners to install surveillance systems after a rush of brawls that some people liken to those seen in John Wayne’s western movies. Oliver County State’s Attorney Mike Liffrig’s proposal includes requiring owners to report fights immediately. Some bar owners oppose the surveillance, one bar owner Tom Merion said it would violate his patron’s right to speak freely. Mr. Merion was then cold cocked by a customer having a drink at his bar. The customer was heard yelling “Who you calling a patron.”

An MIT scientist is videotaping 400,000 hours of footage of his son from birth to age 3, to document language development in babies.  ***MARLAR: You gotta feel sorry for this guy’s family, don’t ya?  You just KNOW he’s going to pull out the home movies when this kid has a birthday.

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger of California signs legislation this week to track bullet sales. ***MARLAR: Which means a lot of paperwork for any Arnold Schwarzenegger movies.

Want to know what it's like to have a vampire wedding. Well 61-year-old Jack Holsinger and his 44-year-old bride Connie Spitznagel made it happen in Columbia Station, Ohio. They both donned full vampire regalia for their "scare-emoney" on Saturday night at a haunted house near Cleveland. The couple chose the location because it's operated by the same people who own a campground where they met. The groom arrived in a coffin inside a hearse, and the coffin was carried to the altar by six pallbearers. Minister Greg Kopp was dressed as Jason from the "Friday the 13th" movies. After the vows were exchanged, he ordered Holsinger not to kiss his new bride but instead to bite her on the neck. Despite their claims of being vampires, both did vow to stay together "until death do us part." ***MARLAR: And by seeing his bride with pale skin and messed hair, the groom was better able to prepare for what he’d see the first morning or marriage.

Scientologists kept handing me flyers to see a movie about Dianetics. I didn't go because I think I've seen enough shitty movies starring Tom Cruise.

I used to be sad that I was blind. Then I met a man who saw Eddie Murphy's last 3 movies. 

Rachel Mcadams said during an interview that the movie studio Warner Bros doesn't really make movies where females are the protagonist -- that is, with the exception of Warner’s new biopic: The Michael Jackson Story. 

Nicolas Cage owes 6.2 million dollars to the IRS. I guess there is a new tax on shitty movies. 

Watching a movie based on video games is like sleeping with your sister...it sounds like a good idea, but really, you're just wasting $10.