The main reason i never got married is because I'm scared to death of having a mother-in-law.  I did an anagram of mother-in-law the other day, and you know what I came up with?  "Hitler woman"

A prank ad I did for my Mother-in-law's 65th birthday. I recorded it, called her, and played it. Toyota and AARP team up for a special offer.

Honda Motor Co. is adding 437,000 vehicles to its 15-month-old global recall for faulty air bags. ***MARLAR: Until a permanent fix is found, Honda is recommending you add an additional air bag to your vehicle by picking up your mother-in-law. 

Did you hear the News about Tiger Woods mother-in-law was taken to the hospital?  

Cus she was curious about how tiger could have so many woman and she wanted to see how big his wood is, and appearantly she couldn't handle it!?

Reportedly,  Tiger Woods' mother-in-law was taken to hospital last night with severe gastro-intestinal pain....... Tiger's philandering really gives her the sh*ts.

Tiger Woods' mother-in-law was rushed to the hospital. Oddly enough, that's the best news involving Tiger Woods and a woman all week.

Tiger had a nightmare that he woke up bleeding in the middle of the street with his wife and mother-in-law screaming Swedish obscenities, a broken fire hydrant spewing everywhere,  a cop wanting an autograph, two neighbors on their cellphones talking to TMZ and The Enquirer, his cell phone going off saying "Where you at, baby", a nine iron wrapped around his head, and his mom yelling "Wa hapn' to Tigah" ....... what an imagination.

A salty burger has landed a McDonald's employee in the slammer and facing criminal charges.  Kendra Bull spent a night in jail because a police officer's burger was too salty -- so salty he says it made him sick. Bull is charged with misdemeanor reckless conduct. ***MARLAR: If using too much salt in your recipes is considered a crime, I think I just found a way to get rid of my mother-in-law. 

Tragedy struck the Marlborough Sounds of New Zealand when an American tourist died while swimming with dolphins on a Dolphin Watch EcoTours trip with her husband and mother-in-law. The 22-year-old woman was found face down in the water after jumping in the Tory Channel with a group of swimmers. Attempts to revive the woman by emergency crews were unsuccessful. Police and Maritime New Zealand are investigating.  ***MARLAR: Dolphin Watch EcoTours is insisting the woman did not die on porpoise. 

Barack Obama shouldn't be the least bit concerned about getting the swine flu.  He's experienced fatigue, headaches, and nausea many times before.  Remember, he  lives with his mother-in-law.