In his comments on the current jobless "recovery" yesterday, President Obama said he is looking "at new models for where future growth is going to come from." 

"We'll look at anything, except capitalism of course, that's crazy talk," he said.

FBI records reveal that Anna Nicole Smith was under investigation in 2000 and 2001 for a murder-for-hire plot. 

Prosecutors ultimately decided there wasn’t enough evidence to charge the model. 

They couldn’t prove she enlisted any outside help in killing her career.

Authorities were, however, able to convict Smith of slaughtering 4 Big Macs, 3 large fries, and a 20-piece Chicken McNuggets — all in a single sitting. 

Former Price Is Right game show host Bob Barker called David Letterman after the news broke of the sex scandle . Barker now age 89, being no stranger to back room sex romps with his models, had lots of good advice for Letterman .  " Dave, i had a good thing going with Diane Parkinson, Holly Hallstrom, and Janice Pennington for over 20 years . I would have kept those old broads even longer because they really put out for me . Then one day Diane decided to pose nude in Playboy and that upset the applecart for me . I had to let all three girls go and that unfortuately lead to many civil lawsuits against me and CBS . My advice to you Dave, only screw the skankiest, short, fat chicks that have absolutely no ambition of ever posing nude in a Men's magazine . " 

DeGeneres was picked even though she has no formal music training.  In related news, Kirstie Alley was chosen to be a judge on  "America's Next Top Model."

Apple has reduced iPod prices from $20 to $120. This is rumored to be an attempt to move surplus stock of products that will be obsolete within a month and subsequently no longer supported by Apple.   A more functional, lower priced model is due to be released as soon as the current models are sold out.

LA fashion designer Anand Jon Alexander, who had been featured on "America's Next Top Model", was sentenced to 59 years-life in prison for forcibly raping over a dozen girls.... Ironically, Alexander's fall collection showcases a black and white, cotton, pinstripe ensemble with a flap in the rear... So big, burly convicts have easy access to his tender, virgin ass..

Patrick Albanese, a hand model, magician and actor, blames a Martha Stewart-branded lounge chair for snipping off a bit of his livelihood. In a lawsuit filed Monday, Albanaese said he was moving the Martha Stewart Everyday lounge chair in June when the front tubular legs collapsed, crushing his right index finger between one of the chair legs and tubular bar on the base of the chair. In a related story, John Tucker of California has filed a lawsuit against Martha Stewart as well. He claims that when he purchased a similar chair the sales person assured him that a coded message came with the assembly instructions, which outline a step-by-step plan on how to profit from insider trading.

Where once you could find a Woolworth's on every other street corner, in its place you now have Starbucks. Where once you could get a grilled cheese, stockings, a 1-lb. sack of Tootsie Rolls, school supplies, underwear, a Transformers action figure and a pet goldfish, you can now get overpriced coffee and overpriced coffee accessories. 

We sure do like getting screwed in this country, don't we?

The nude body of Jasmine Fiore , a former swimsuit model found last weekend in Orange County was identified through her breast implants' serial numbers.

They were of course, 00h00hmyg0d1 and 00h00hmyg0d2.

Associated Press: "The body of ex-model Jasmine Fiore was found Aug. 15 in a suitcase that had been dumped in a trash bin in Orange County, Calif. Fiore, 28, had been strangled. Her teeth and fingers were gone, and her body was so mutilated that investigators had to identify her though the serial number of her breast implants, prosecutors said Friday."

Me: Identified by her breast implants...sure, why should death be any different?