Ah to see the look on their faces when welcomed to paradise as martyrs. All excited to get  their 70 virgins.

The martyr ask this big fat guy where the line for the virgins is.He says "Oh theres no line.

The martyr says "Oh great.What did you do to become a martyr?."

The big fat guy says"Oh me  and all my  buddies here arent martyrs.We're the virgins.Man wheres the food?,Im so hungry I could eat a camel!!

gulp!!

An Australian Muslim cleric has urged children to be martyrs for Islam and referred to Jews as pigs in a series of DVDs, sparking condemnation by the government and further straining tensions with the nation’s Muslims.

Iran's foreign minister delivered a blunt challenge to the US on Saturday, saying Tehran is willing to help US troops get out of Iraq. 

"Car bombs and martyrs are standing by" Mottaki announced.

Fatma Omar aka "nana cuddles" strapped some c-4 to her depends undergarments on Thanksgiving and made her way to the closes Israeli check point with one thing in mind;  To get away from all the work that having nine kids and forty grandchildren brings with it.  coyly using the Israeli occupation as her excuse for martyrdom Nana merely succeded in slightly wounding a couple of Israeli border guards before being sent to her just reward...  72 males scrubbing and cooking just for her.

Her son was quoted as saying: "I'm going to miss mothers' home cooking.  No body could make hummus like her.

 It's flavor exploded in your mouth!"

Last month the AP cited a government report that found "thousands of people have been mistakenly linked to names on terror watch lists when they crossed the border, boarded commercial airliners or were stopped for traffic violations."

People "are usually misidentified because they have the same name as someone in the database....Young children and well-known Americans like Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, D-Mass., were stopped at airports because their names were the same as those on the no-fly list.

"The list has contained the names of Bolivia's President Evo Morales and Nabih Berri, Lebanon's parliamentary speaker, according to a report by CBS' '60 Minutes.'"

Bolivia, Lebanon and Ted Kennedy: So where's the malfunction? It seems the "faulty" computer knows which side of terror people are on better than the people themselves do.

As for the rest of the list, maybe people--especially if they live in Western countries--should stop being named after  terrorists? Muslims need to stop naming their kids after martyrs and start naming them after Jewish doctors. Besides, say you're living in America now (or Canada). So how about doing like other immigrant groups do--who want to "be American"--and naming your kids Susan, Danielle, Sammy, Jennifer and so on? How many Italian-Americans still name their kids Rodolfo or Graziella? Russian-Americans, for example, name their kids Brandon and other names from "90210."  Why is that not good enough for Middle Easterners? They should try acting like real Americans, watching too much TV and naming their kids Haley, Tyler, Skyler or Dylan. What's the problem? The name thing is just another telltale sign of who does or doesn't want to integrate.
 
Anyway, for those who are offended by the computer glitches (if you want to call them that), take heart in this finding: "Terrorist screening missed 75% of time: Green card and visa applications not checked against terror watch list."

A victory for civil rights warriors, and proof that there is  balance in the universe!