Yesterday, heard my shiftless brother-in-law claim to be an aspiring artist.

   News to me.

   In over twenty-five years, the only thing I've ever seen him draw is welfare. 

Hopefully, this technology is soon available in the US.   There is enough manure in Washington to power the entire East Coast.

If the artist ever wants to move to the United States, he will find plenty of manure in Washington to sculpt every member of Congress.

In an interview with Italian newspaper Gazzetta dello Sport, soccer player Marco Materazzi revealed the circumstances surrounding the infamous head-butt at this year's World Cup.

Apparently, after grabbing French player Zinedine Zidane's shirt, Zidane said to him, "If you want, I'll give you the jersey later." Materazzi then responded, "I would prefer your sister."

Now, what's so bad about saying you find someone's sister preferable to a sweaty jersey? It would have been a lot worse if he said, "Better that jersey than your sister." Or, how about, "The only thing I want less than that smelly, dirty jersey is your sister. Matter of fact, you could line a hamster cage with that jersey, and it would still be better than your nasty sister. You could roll that thing in horse manure and, ref, time out, I'm on a roll, you could roll that shirt in horse manure..."