"After a breakup, a friend of mine Swarovski-crystalled my precious lady," Jennifer Love Hewitt told George Lopez on his talk show. "It shined like a disco ball so I have a whole chapter [in her book] in there on how women should vagazzle their vajayjays."

 This may date me but I can remember when women had their vajayjays vajizzled.

Police in San Jose, California say a car dealer who repossessed a woman's Honda Accord left with something a bit more valuable: her 2-year-old son.  The woman’s child was sleeping in the back of the car when it was taken away by an employee of Alberto's Auto Sales because the boy's mother was behind on her payments. Officers located the toddler a half-hour later - about the same time the driver told authorities that he discovered the boy.  Sgt. Ronnie Lopez says kidnapping charges don't appear to be warranted. But he says the mother should have checked the car thoroughly.  ***MARLAR: In other news, Alberto’s Auto Sales has announced their new “curbside babysitting service”.

Police in Lima, Peru claim to have busted a human-fat trafficking ring.. Allegedly, cellulite was harvested from victims and sold to European cosmetic labs for as much as $60,000 a gallon...
At that price, Jennifer Lopez and Kim Kardashian are literally sitting on gold mines...

The world is ending in 2012, of course it is...Oprahs ending her talk show in 2011. 

Police say a pizza-delivery man fought back with the one weapon he had handy when a gun was pulled on him in a stickup. A large, hot pepperoni pizza. Delivery man Eric Lopez Devictoria, 40, flung the steaming pie at the gunman, buying time as he ran for safety, police said. At least one shot was fired as he fled, but the deliveryman wasn’t hurt. Devictoria was later fired by his manager for attempted assault of a customer.

 Did you hear we bombed the moon today at 6:31am central time. Nasa used 3 bombs....2 were constructed by nasa engineers and the other bomb was the 2007 Jennifer lopez- Ben Affleck movie "GILI

Dustin Diamond has a sex-tape of himself out, been popped for drug possesion, and found cheating on his wife.  Apparently, he wasn't saved by the bell.  Talk about having your life come a schreeching reality check.

Jennifer Lopez turned 40 today while her hip size shot up to 50 ! 

Marc Anthony, Jennifer Lopez's husband has become a minority owner in the Miami Dolphins.  This move was apparently done to increase ticket sales to Miami's Hispanic population.

In related moves, the San Francisco 49ers sold a piece of the team to Clay Aiken and the Dallas Cowboys started "Bring your favorite Mexican to a game" day.  Comedian George Lopez couldn't be reached for comment. 

Wisconsin girl got arrested for repeatedly texting.  Her “consecutive starting” and “most passing” of texts  in class yesterday landed her $298 ticket.  Apparently,  she didn’t think her teacher was the MVP of her education.