Ringo Starr’s star was added to the Hollywood Walk of Fame yesterday.  And for you kids who don’t know who Ringo Starr is--he’s the creepy-looking dude in the Beatles Rock Band video game.

Volunteers in Miami were on the street to try to convince Super Bowl prostitutes that there were other options for them. But after looking at Miami’s unemployment numbers, the prostitutes were just happy to have jobs. 

Olympic organizers are concerned by the unseasonably warm weather in Vancouver. But they're looking forward to the new downhill waterskiing event.

Guy walks into a bar.  He notices a middle aged attractive woman sitting at the bar, sits down next to her and tries to strike up a conversation.

"So what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?"

She turns and glares at him.  "Look, let's get this straight. I don't want to be hit on. I don't want to be oggled.  I don't want to be groped.  You got all that?"

Guy says.  "Hey, we're on the same page. I want to get straight to the sex too!"

 An old classic -----Three blondes meet at the Pearly Gates of heaven. St. Peter gave them an entrance exam. He asked the first blond, “What is Easter?”
She answered, “Oh, that’s easy. It’s in November and we all eat turkey…”
“Wrong,” St. Peter said. “You can’t come in.” He asked the second blonde, “What is Easter?”
“Oh, that’s in December, when we celebrate the birth of Christ, and exchange gifts, and eat lots of turkey.”
“No, no,” St. Peter said, looking discouraged. He turned to the third blonde and said, “Can you tell me what Easter is?”
“Of course,” he said. “Jesus was crucified by the Romans. They nailed him to the cross, made him wear a crown of thorns, and pierced his side. His friends buried him in a cave and sealed it with a stone.”
“Excellent,” St. Peter said. “Go on.”
“On Easter, they roll away the stone, and Jesus rises. If he sees his shadow, we’ll have six more weeks of winter.”

PETA is here to save the day yet again!! By saving Punxsutawney Phil? Living the lavish lifestyle of a celebrity groundhog is apparently cruel and stressful according to PETA!! However, William Deeley, president of the Inner Circle of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club, counters this claim by saying "Punxsutawney Phil is being treated better than the average child in Pennsylvania.' Indeed, Punxsutawney Phil is treated like a king, surely the envy of all of his fellow groundhogs."

I am assuming that what William Deeley is implying is that Punxsutawney Phil is treated very well and not that people in Pennsylvania treat their children less than they would a common rodent? But I could be wrong!! I did date a girl from Pittsburgh once and that would explain why she sported a Mullet hairstyle, constantly pissed on my leg in public, and every third word was "Steelers"! But regardless of what I believe or don't believe about the inbreeding between Pennsylvania residents, PETA has gone too far!! Seriously, you think working one hour a year, if you consider looking at your freakn' shadow work, is too stressful!! Try being a a hamster living at Richard Gere's house!!! That's Fckn' stressful!! I don't see PETA issuing any statements asking Mr.Gere to use a freakn' "robotic" hamster looking dildo instead of a live rodents in his ass!! WTF!! So apparently in the eyes of PETA, big rodents=cool, little rodents=Fck em'!! That my friends is hypocrisy at it's best!!