A turf war in the lobster-rich waters off Maine escalated into a dispute that left a lobsterman with a gunshot wound to the neck and another in jail.... When local law-enforcement official Alice T. Hale was asked to comment she said "we are grilling a suspect in custody right now and it looks like he's in alot of hot water" When asked how she cracked the case she said she will soon be releasing more information including other suspects, in fact everything... but her source.

The water is so warm, in fact, the lobsters fished from the ocean are already boiled.  

A very angry and defiant Kim Jong IL lashed back at American media yesterday for spreading lies and anti North Korean propoganda . Kim went on National TV to address his tiny isolated country to call Laura Ling and Euna Lee  " Skill-full and dishonest liars of the worst kind ! "  Jong went on to say, Ms Ling and Ms Lee received V.I.P. treatment while guests in his wonder capital . " I gave those two broads first-class accommodations in the 5 star Pyongyang Hilton Hotel . I tell them , Please enjoy all hotel facilities, amenities, health club and gym, swimming pool , and naughty cable in room TV.  I also say, don't worry about bill . No charge for you, everything is comp. for you just like in Atlantic City casino hotel .  So you know what they do ?  Everyday they order meals from room service and make my hotel staff go crazy . They order Rock Lobster, Stone Crab, CherryStone Clam, Rock Cornish Hen, Sand Shark, Sandwich, Chicken Nugget, Marble Cake, Stone Ground Bread, Fruity Peddles, and even Rock Candy !  My girls who work in hotel restaurant not understand English well like me . Maybe they think Ling & Lee eat stone and gravel in America ?  Maybe someone make honest mistake and put tiny rock in her rice by accident ?  Next time I not be Mr. Nice-Guy to troublemaker Al Gore's trespassing reporter friends ! "          .............................................( kascha whitney)  

PORTLAND, Maine (AP) — What could be the world's longest lobster roll turned out to be even longer than expected.

Just once, I'd like someone to say that about me.

The entertainer may be required to work at a local Red Lobster, where he’ll batter fish instead of women.

George Bush's final presidential pardon before leaving office.

Joseph Gambardella was caught stealing $900 worth of lobster from a restaurant in Connecticut. He knew he was busted when the police arrived and cuffed him with rubberbands over his fingers.

Then they boiled him.

When I was 20 I used to do ecstasy a lot. "E" pills always have designer names. I've had Mitsubishis, Bubbles, Batmans, and all kinds of other crap. I think instead they should name these pills after the many abnormalities your future children will have as a result of taking them.

Imagine going to a rave and swallowing a few "Lobsterboys" and "Reading Disabilities." If you're really lucky, you may find a dealer selling "Mildly Retardeds" or "Tyrannus Saurus Rex Arms."