A western Pennsylvania Amish farmer was sentenced Tuesday to 90 days in jail after refusing to bring a pair of outhouses into compliance with state sewage laws. Andy Swartzentruber cited his conservative religious beliefs in refusing to abide by a court order to make the privies used by schoolchildren compliant and pay a $500 fine. In addition to the health issue, some teachers complained the Mr. Swartzentruber did not properly stock the outhouses. In fact, some of the students were using their assignments in the outhouse. A few of the younger students proceeded to turn in the soiled home work.

I've joined Oprah's Fruitcake of the month club. I'm just in time for my mother in laws birthday.

An oxygen bar at the Nebraska State Fair has been warned it might be violating state and federal drug laws by dispensing oxygen without a prescription. The FDA says people can stop breathing if they get too much oxygen, although the American Lung Association says the low-flow oxygen at oxygen bars won't hurt anyone.  ***MARLAR: If they’re so concerned about air at a county or state fair, shouldn’t they first outlaw livestock from the fairgrounds?

A woman who wanted a job as a bikini-clad barmaid at a New York City eatery says management rejected her because she has a Latin accent. Melody Morales has sued seeking unspecified damages, saying she applied 15 times for a job at the Hawaiian Tropic Zone restaurant and bar. Her lawsuit says one manager told her that her “Latin” accent would ruin his business. When asked about this, actress Penelope Cruz said. “Typical dumb white boys. Us Latinos can roll our r's. Can you imagine what else we can do with our tongues?”

Former Price Is Right game show host Bob Barker called David Letterman after the news broke of the sex scandle . Barker now age 89, being no stranger to back room sex romps with his models, had lots of good advice for Letterman .  " Dave, i had a good thing going with Diane Parkinson, Holly Hallstrom, and Janice Pennington for over 20 years . I would have kept those old broads even longer because they really put out for me . Then one day Diane decided to pose nude in Playboy and that upset the applecart for me . I had to let all three girls go and that unfortuately lead to many civil lawsuits against me and CBS . My advice to you Dave, only screw the skankiest, short, fat chicks that have absolutely no ambition of ever posing nude in a Men's magazine . " 

In an attempt to defuse a potential media frenzy, David Letterman has admitted to having had sexual relations with female staff members.  But he insisted they weren’t hired because they could actually help the show.

He only hired them to avoid lawsuits over misunderstandings caused by using the line “would you like to be on my staff?”

New Jersey truly is the armpit of America. Further proof of the fact: the Garden State has no laws against bestiality…

During a bizarre hearing in Burlington County, NJ yesterday, a Superior Court judge dismissed animal-cruelty charges against a Moorestown police officer accused of sticking his penis into the mouths of five calves in 2006.

Apparently, the judge thought it only fair that since men have been milking cows dry for centuries, it was high time the cows returned the favor.

Nearly 75 people gathered in Keene, N.H.'s Central Square at 4:20 p.m. Thursday, to protest drug laws as city councilors grapple with a resolution that would decriminalize small amounts of marijuana. Shockingly, none of the 75 had to be at work at that time.

Patrick Albanese, a hand model, magician and actor, blames a Martha Stewart-branded lounge chair for snipping off a bit of his livelihood. In a lawsuit filed Monday, Albanaese said he was moving the Martha Stewart Everyday lounge chair in June when the front tubular legs collapsed, crushing his right index finger between one of the chair legs and tubular bar on the base of the chair. In a related story, John Tucker of California has filed a lawsuit against Martha Stewart as well. He claims that when he purchased a similar chair the sales person assured him that a coded message came with the assembly instructions, which outline a step-by-step plan on how to profit from insider trading.