Facebook is an amazing way to pass time when your board.  It's filled with games and quizes you can do while not connecting with your friends.  I recently took the "How Many Sexual Partners You Have in 2009/2010" quiz.

 My results - "None, because your lame ass spends too much time taking douchey ass survey's on Facebook, when you should probably be at the bar looking for women who leave their drinks unattended."

Minnesota Vikings wide receiver Percy Harvin has repeatedly missed practice time with mysterious migraine headache's. 

On an unrelated note, Coach Brad Childress has seen King of the Hill's John Redcorn crawling out of Harvin's bedroom window on multiple occasions.

Everybody has equal rights now a days... Animals,Women, Minorities, everybody but overweight people it seems.  When I do something, it should be referred to the same as it is with people of average weight.

 From now on, when I have sex, it will be referred to as regular old sex... not rape, and not inbreeding... I don't care if it was my unconscious cousin, it still counts!

The recession is affecting American's in every way imaginable.  It's trickled from housing purchases all the way down to who you date.  I've recently considered dating Kate Gosselin; not because i'm attracted to her, but because I know how many foodstamps you can get with 8 kids.

TLC's lawyers will fuck Jon Gosselin so hard that Kate will pop out 9 & 10

A Domino's Pizza franchise in North Carolina was forced to close its doors forever, and its owner puts the blame on disgusting videos two former employees posted on YouTube. Franchise owner Kevin Hendren said,  "My business was off 58 percent because of YouTube," The store closed on Sept. 22. The video allegedly shows two employees of his Conover, N.C., Domino's Pizza putting cheese in his nose and then putting it on a sandwich, sneezing on cheese sticks and other disgusting things. The videos were discovered in April and have been removed from YouTube.  ***MARLAR: So YouTube has a video of one of your employees making nose cheese sandwiches and sneezing on food... and your solution is to take down the video?

5 Shooters completely missed everything? I suspect the Knicks. 

Former Power Ranger actor David Frank is entering the world of Mixed Martial Arts.  When asked why he thought he could be successful he said "there are no rules against morphin' time."

Today is a huge day for me, as i've had consentual sex for the first time without paying for it.  It was a little akward because afterwards I threw money on the matress out of habit.  Afterwards she told me I didn't have to pay, and I said "just keep the money, you can put it towards my half of the rent this month mom".

Adam "Pac-Man" Jones recently signed to play in the Canadian Football League.  When reachead for comment on why he choose the CFL over the upstart UFL he said "i'm tired of making it rain, in Canada, I have a chance to add "snow" to my precipitation repertoire."