10 ) Must be able to keep your mouth shut, (after sex)

9 ) Be able to work late hours after stage hands and cleaning crew go home .

8 ) Must be single, no kids, and never married .

7 ) Can not have any jealous boyfriends lurking around the studio

6 ) Prefer you have the face of Heather Locklear, the eyes of Catherine Zeta-Jones, the lips of Angelina Jolie, the fiery red hair of Angie Everhart, and the body of Cindy Margolis .

5 ) Be able to take dictation to CBS law firm while sitting on Dave's lap .

4 )  You are not allowed to wear pantyhose . Dave prefers you wear black stockings, garter belts, thong panties, and 5 inch spiked heels .  

3  Know how to do C.P.R., Letterman is no spring chicken .

2 ) Must be able to have your eyes open and keep a straight face during Dave's love-making sessions .

1 ) Stay at least 100 feet away from Paul Shaffer . He's Dave's Boy-Toy !    

Among those visiting the baby were Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.  They decided against adoption after Brad picked up the baby and got a hernia.

I just got back from New York City. Boston used to impress me until I went to NYC. Probably the same way Jennifer Aniston used to impress Brad Pitt before he went to Angelina Jolie. 

Levi Johnston said Sarah Palin wanted to adopt his child so that people wouldn't know her 17-year-old was pregnant.   Plan B was to give the child to Madonna or Angelina Jolie 

...by the year 2011, the world's population is expected to hit 7 billion people.  Approximately 2 billion of those are expected to be named Pitt-Jolie.   

Angelina Jolie and Brad are such a stunning couple.But it's so sad that their children will always be the Pitts.

Frankly, I'm not really sure who should get custody of the kids-- Madonna or Angelina Jolie.

The singer's death left coverage lacking for other noteworthy news events:

1.  Six GOP governors admit to orgy ring based in Madrid, Spain.

2.  Jay Leno admitted to "Hospital for the Morose" in Carlsbad, New Mexico.

3.  Angelina Jolie adopts a village of 189 children. Father Jon Voight now regrets having had sex. Hillary ecstatic. Elbow healing well.

4.  Obama appoints last Russian Czar. Will oversee caviar usage at White House.

5.  McDonald's to introduce RONALD, a new car that runs on fat.

A judge has ordered a limit on media calls that murder suspect Drew Peterson may be allowed to make while in prison.

Apparently the trouble started when Peterson called a local Illinois radio show and announced that, once his trial was over, he planned to audition for "The Bachelor."  

Following in the footsteps of Angelina Jolie and Madonna, today Kirstie Alley adopted "Little Debbie."