Posters of Barack Obama in Heath Ledger-style Joker make-up with the legend 'Socialism' beneath it have been popping up recently on surfaces around Los Angeles.

“I’m rather disturbed by the characterization of me as the JOKER,” said Obama.

He added “my perceived misleading statements, unbelievable policies and constant change in plans, which always leave you guessing, make me more like the RIDDLER!”

Heath Ledger won the Oscar for his performance as the Joker at last night's Academy Award ceremonies, beating out Robert Downey Jr. among others. Even though this proves that Ledger was the superior actor Downey remains the superior drug-taker.

Imelda Marcos wants to offload billions of dollars in frozen assets and hidden gold bullions to "save the world".

The former first lady sent a letter to US President Barack Obama about her desire to use her family fortune that her husband stole from the Philippines to help stimulate the world economy, lawyer Oliver Lozano told The Star. What she did not tell the President that her husband stealing all that money made the Philippines one of the poorest and most corrupt nations on the planet.

If they Obama agrees she will tell him the secret location of the gold, it is buried somewhere near the port of Somalia, marked by an X, between two trees, a hut and a bunch of bullets.

Marcos has invited US First Lady Michelle Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton as guests at her birthday party as well as Batman and Robin. Former dictator Ferdinand Marcos had amassed an estimated $35 billion in alleged ill-gotten wealth.

Picture: Hillary already getting dressed for event. Batman and Robin have declined but the Joker will be attending if he can get a weekend pass from

Gautama Bay.

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It is official, myspace cracks me up. Today I was on there and a fat woman was posing in a bikini seductively. I mean granted, I believe all bodies are beautiful but some people are even more beautiful with their clothes on. I mean, you got to give the lady credit for having the balls to pose semi-nude because clearly she knows there are assholes like myself making fun of her. But come on, I would like to keep my lunch.

            I see so many people on myspace with identity crisis issues. One lady has kids and stuff but talks about how all she does is reconnect with old boyfriends. Why the hell would you want to reconnect with an old boyfriend? Not only do you look desperate and unhappy with your own life but you cause trouble in everyone else’s you home wrecking bitch. Granted, I am not one to really stay friends with old boyfriends. I don’t hold grudges either. It didn’t work out, shit happens, I move on. But going back to the glory days of the back seat in high school. That is shit assed desperate. Especially since sweetheart, his love wand is much more pathetic than you remember it being.

            Another thing that gets me are the moms who not only have identity crisis issues but have the pop music on their pages. Its like, wow, totally obvious you are still stuck in the phase of your life when you passed notes. And then they all blog about their kids....make me want to vomit. I mean seriously, was high school that great? I never thought so. I had friends but the guys were stupid and the girls were bitches. Though I had my fun I have moved on with my life and will keep on moving on.

            Two losers I have dated are on myspace though, and I friended neither one of them. One talked about how he thought a drunk chick was hot and wanted to take full advantage of her while she was passed out. The other has made it his sole mission in life to find a quality drug dealer. I do not hate either one of these men, but this may give you some indication of why it didn’t work out between us. I already have the man in jail, the almost rapist, and the druggie. I would say alls left is the stalker but I just got done dealing with that one.

            I guess what gets me are the bulletins. I don’t care what kind of cat I would have...actually I would need to care if I were going to a Korean restaurant. I don’t care what kind of lover I am. Hell, I already know I am the type that says to the guy, “I never said it was your job to be faithful. Shut the hell up, do your job, and get out. I have things to do.” I most certainly do not think I would be a super hero in reguards to that bulletin. No siree Bob. I would be the Joker. Anything to ruin someone elses day. I did send out one bulletin. It was called Dumb Sluts Say the Darnest Things. Well because they do. So let that be a lesson little girls. Don’t become a dumb slut. Learn how to say no to men....because it is not a word they want to hear. And if you cannot say no charge them money, so that way you can become a smart slut as well as an entrepreneur.

            But women on myspace never cease to amaze me. They pose in these bikinis in attempts to seduce jobless losers who are fat, thirty, and whack off in mamas basement all the live long day. One chick had the caption next to her name in quotes “rape me.” Im thinking wow, when it actually does happen and you go crawling to NOW and the defense team will have a nice piece of evidence on their side now wont they? I am by no means saying rape is ever the victims fault. It never is. As a matter of fact I am a staunch victims rights advocate. The above was to demonstrate how (mostly male) defense lawyers in a case like that would use something so stupid as a defense. But hey, they are just as brutish are their Neanderthal clients who don’t deserve to breathe my air. Then again, those are the people who spend all day on myspace.

            And that is another thing, the people who spend all day on myspace. Do they not know you need fresh air to live? Do they not have a life, jobs? I had a sick boyfriend girlfriend duo of sorts giving me shit on the site. Both were fat and unemployed. They called me a wimp when I didn’t fight back. When meanwhile I am working three jobs and trying to finish college and balance a comedy career. Sorry if I don’t have time to go to war on the internet. Then again, I would say mature adults don’t do that but I don’t think that was the level we were competing at.

            The letters from high school aged boys are the best in my opinion. They tell me how hot I am and I am like wow. So I always ask them two questions: 1. Does your mother know you are up this late? 2. Did you study for math because we both know damn well you are failing that class. And then there are the women who get pissy when you don’t friend them right away because you have other things to do. One lady wrote me a nasty note and I told her not only was I not friending her but reccommeding she seriously get a life.

            People create these pathetic small worlds on that site whether they are reliving their glory days before they either got knocked up and fat or they are just having identity issues in general. But I like myspace despite it being invaded with so many losers. I can network and meet the friends I have and keep track of folks. But sometimes, sometimes, the place just cracks me up. But if you are my friend on myspace know in my heart that I do love you. And for any and all that remembered my birthday....thank you. Love, April

 While this is not comedy, per se, it should be noted that some sick humor can be found in the furor in the Islamic world regarding Pope Benny’s decision to publicly repeat comments made by a Byzantine emperor’s notion of the violence inherent to Islam and the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad.

From this joker’s perspective, I would offer the following observations:

1. When freedom of religion and the right for open assemblies of non-Muslim religious gatherings can be commonplace in the Islamic world, then criticism of Pope Benny is justified.
2. When Muslim terrorists stop bombing churches in Iraq and stop harassing Iraqi Christians seeking the free exercise of their faith (particularly women), then criticism of Pope Benny is justified.
3. When the governments of predominantly Islamic nations cease their policies of persecution of non-Muslim faiths (most notably Iran’s campaigns against its Baha’i population and the state-sanctioned violence against Coptic Christians in Egypt), then criticism of Pope Benny is justified.
4. When people in predominantly Muslim countries have the right to change their religions without the risk of being arrested, tried and executed for crimes against the nation, then criticism of Pope Benny is justified.
5. When the governments of predominantly Muslim country outlaw school texts that slander Judaism and Christianity, then criticism of Pope Benny is justified.
6. When Muslims stop killing each other under the pretext of Koranic principles (Iraq, Afghanistan, Sudan), then criticism of Pope Benny is justified.

Until such time, all I can say is “More power to Pope Benny!”

A UCLA professor claims the devil has been wrongly dissed. He says Satan is a, "divine functionary" who serves as God's minister in charge of the world. (Whatever that means) Says Professor Henry Ansgar Kelly, author of the upcoming book "Satan: A Biography." He is also working on another biography, "Hitler: Practical Joker."