It's so hot today Joan Rivers' face melted.

Manhattan plastic surgeon Dr. Howard Sobel says that cosmetic surgery patients are getting younger and younger. They are getting nose jobs at 13, and liposuction at 16.  While he turns down most teen patients, he said he has injected Botox into girls as young as 17 who are worried about developing crow's feet. One of his patients, a woman in her early 20s, explained to the Associated Press that she wants to stay young forever.  ***MARLAR: And with continual plastic surgery, you too can look as fresh and young as Joan Rivers.

 A New Zealand Santa with a droopy-eye has receieved 100,00 so his face does not scare children. In other news, it was revealed today that Santa Claus is a real person, and is actually Joan Rivers.

In related news, Joan Rivers cancels big Democratic fund raiser.  

A funeral director in Houston has been arrested for sexual contact with a female corpse.Joan Rivers plans to have all charges dropped. 

Perhaps the most grotesque exhibit is an enlarged photo of Larry King and Joan Rivers.

...2 Queens New York retirees have developed a new social networking site for senior citizens.  The site has been operational for a couple of weeks now.  Joan Rivers was the first celebrity to sign up.  The site can be found by going to www.faceliftbook.com 

Recently when Joan needed a blood transfusion it was determined she had the rarest blood type a human can have, Botox Positive.

What a coincidence, Joan Rivers used the same cosmetic surgeon as Michael Jackson !  It's true check it out, even i can't make this stuff up  . Her cosmetic surgery was performed by Dr. Steven Hoefflin in Santa Monica, California . What is not as well know about the good doctor was his previous occupations as a bricklayer, body & fender repairman, and sausage stuffer .  Joan admitted to close friends she is partly responsible for her misfortune . " Next time i see a plastic surgeon, I won't be using those awful Val-Pac coupons that come in the mail ! "