Is Bob Dylan Christian or Jewish these days? It's so hard to keep track. There should be a web site for that like "Is Twitter Down?" Yeah, there's an app for that.

In breaking news, President Bill Clinton,  who  has no training in science was awarded the Nobel Prize in Physics for discovering a way to get a Jewish girl to give a blow job.

The top news yesterday was the finding that Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad may be Jewish.

I guess this means that the anti-Christ is a Jew after all. 

I recently became an atheist. Since I stopped being Jewish, I lost my discount privileges.Being an atheist is almost like being a Jehovah's Witness, except fun. I love it when people tell me I'm going to hell, because it turns into a game of Rock ,Paper,Scissors:

"I'm going to hell?HAH! I don't believe in hell! Atheism trumps hell! Wanna go again?" 

I saw a newspaper the other day called The Jewish Advocate. Wouldn't it have been easier to call the paper The Lawyer? 

Guarded transcripts of the White House "Beer Summit" were leaked this morning.

Reports indicate that after three beers, President Obama, Professor Gates and  Sergeant Crowley found common ground by sharing Jewish jokes. 

...horticulturists have discovered a poisonous plant that only affects Jewish people.  Scientists have named the plant Poison Oy Vey. 

At one point Michael Jackson had a rabbi and was studying to become Jewish before deciding to convert to Islam. What a choice! It's like, "Hmm, do I want to be a Jew...or an anti-Semite? Jew, anti-Semite; Jew, anti-Semite..."

I guess in the end he decided that the latter was just more fun.

Reality show stars Jon and Kate Gosselin of TLC's  "Jon & Kate plus 8" are finally getting a divorce after months of feuding.

There will be a new reality show to cover the divorce proceedings, to be called "Jon & Kate plus 8 Jewish attorneys."

Messages keep popping up on my computer that I need to update this and download that.  I think I have a Jewish motherboard.