The New Jersey Nets have no intention of firing head coach Lawrence Frank. No matter how much he begs.

The undermanned New Jersey Nets had to use a chair in place of a player during a recent practice. The chair scored 25 and pulled down 7 boards.

Golden State only dressed eight players in a loss to the Cavs. More players were available but none of them wanted to wear a Warriors jersey.

New Jersey governor Corzine has lost in his re-election bid, despite spending millions.  Just goes to show;  in our great nation, money can't buy elections!!  (NOTE:  This does not apply to the New York City mayoral election.)

62-year-old Edward Ates is up on murder charges in Hackensack, New Jersey, and he's chosen an interesting defense. Ates says he's too fat to have killed his former son-in-law-- at least not the way prosecutors claim it happened. The victim, 40-year-old Paul Duncsak, was shot six times as he walked down a hallway in his home. The shooter first fired from a staircase leading to the basement. That was followed by several shots fired head-on. In order to do that, Ates' attorney says his client would have had to run up the stairs. At 5- feet-8 and 285 pounds, the attorney says he was just too fat to have pulled it off. At the time of the killing, Duncsak and Ates' daughter were involved in a bitter custody dispute after their divorce. Early in court testimony, Ates' doctor testified that bounding up the stairs would have caused Ates to become short of breath and shake, making it difficult to keep his wrist straight enough to accurately fire a gun at someone from a distance. (myway.com)  ***MARLAR: Not guilty by reason of gluttony!

Police in Indiana say a woman set fire to her ex-boyfriend’s clothing at a self-storage center and caused more than 100,000 dollars in damage. Donna J. Duell was arrested in connection with the fire Wednesday night. Duell told officers she did save one piece of clothing from the inferno. As she stated, I can’t think of anything worse than having to wear the only piece of clothing left, a Detroit Lions football jersey.

An Illinois man has admitted banking more than $470,000 in paychecks from a New Jersey company he never worked for. Cosmo Kramer is expected to be sent back to New York where he will enter a not guilty plea.

Yeah as y'all know, the World Series gets underway tomorrow night.  And the New York Yankees and the Philadelphia Phillies are two teams that are similar in a lot of ways, really they are.  They do have one HUGE, CONTROVERSIAL, AND DISGUSTING thing separating them, though.  It's called NEW JERSEY.

Three mice infected with the deadly bubonic plague are missing from a New Jersey bio-defense research lab.  ***MARLAR: Bio-terrorism experts are asking all pied-pipers to report to New Jersey for instructions.

A related study suggests a vast cesspool engulfs New Jersey.