An Alaska dentist has given a bald eagle a unique beak - using a temporary crown, sticky poster putty and yellow highlighter. The bird was found in December with severe damage to its beak, apparently from fishing line that wrapped around it and started cutting into it.  Cindy Palmatier at the Bird Treatment and Learning Center says staff there decided to turn to dentist Kirk Johnson, who thought of patching up the beak with the same material used to make temporary crowns for people.  The "crown" is being held on with poster putty, and Johnson colored it in using highlighter to give it a yellow tint. The bird center says the eagle is doing just fine but won't be able to return to the wild.  ***MARLAR: Because even the animal kingdom sees ugly nose jobs. 

A company planning to open the first hotel in space says it will be able to accept its first paying guests in 2012.  The hotel amenities will include high-end toiletries, a mini-bar, and a beautiful view of the Earth’s demise.

Wal-Mart has introduced a line of caskets for sale in its online store.  To better serve the typical Wal-Mart consumer, they’ll offer three sizes – large, extra-large and “We’ll have to remove a wall.”

I understand that Michael Jackson might be digitally inserted into the new We Are The World video.I'm sure Michael was quite familiar with inserting his digits. 

Guy walks into a bar.  He notices a middle aged attractive woman sitting at the bar, sits down next to her and tries to strike up a conversation.

"So what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?"

She turns and glares at him.  "Look, let's get this straight. I don't want to be hit on. I don't want to be oggled.  I don't want to be groped.  You got all that?"

Guy says.  "Hey, we're on the same page. I want to get straight to the sex too!"

Toyota's President gave a heartfelt apology to car owners around the world. Poor guy...

After all the criticism by the media and government, I think its time for all of us to--"Give him a Brake"....ba-dum ching.

Pepsi sits out the Super Bowl for first time in 23 years.  Hey, no big deal.  The Detroit Lions have sat out the Super Bowl for the past 40 years.

Bad time to be a Toyota owner. Gas pedals get stuck. Breaks in the Prius fail. Even its “new car smell” is noxious.

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In his quest to help another automaker with his government intervention, Obama has a solution to Toyota’s sticking gas pedal problem…… He is raising all speed limits to 120 mph.