People who ridiculed the Richmond, Virginia grocery chain Ukrop's for years by calling it Ukrap's now have a new name to play with. Dutch supermarket group Ahold has bought Ukrop's, opening up a whole new can of ridicule. Even more amusing, the company's full name is Royal Ahold.

The thought of buying your groceries from a company called Ahold is probably why Ukrop's will be renamed Martin's. Since it's a Dutch company, let's hope they tell their new employees to wash their hands after putting their fingers in any dikes.

It's based on American Idol. The slogan: "Just one scratch is all it takes." When it comes to Paula Abdul, I'm not sure whether they're talking about winning a lot of money or catching herpes.

   Being six-foot-four, I felt complimented when an Ashley Judd lookalike once said to me:  "You remind me of a tall drink of water."

   Was flattered until she added, "Tasteless." 

   "Mattresses expertly repadded.  We know our stuff! 

I wonder if Cajuns who have Alzheimer's walk around saying Who Dat. 

Valentine’s Day might be awkward for New York Gov. David Paterson, who has admitted to extramarital affairs. But not nearly as awkward as Father’s Day.

Ringo Starr’s star was added to the Hollywood Walk of Fame yesterday.  And for you kids who don’t know who Ringo Starr is--he’s the creepy-looking dude in the Beatles Rock Band video game.

Runners & Hikers Magazine has named South Carolina governor Mark Sanford as it's "Sportsperson" of the year in recognition of him becomming the first person to hike the Appalachian Trail all the way to Argentina.